Judge — July 17, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Thrifty? Yes—The other day an In- dianapolis lawyer took one of his women clients out to lunch. He, being discreet, decided to say nothing about the event to his wife. But the tattling friend who always learns of such affairs told wifey instead, and that evening he was duly scolded for this misdemeanor. “But ycu sometimes go out to lunch with men who are our friends,” protested her husband, “and I don’t object. I can’t see why you should object. Now, what is the difference between your going and my going in this way?” “Why, the difference is in the bill,” smiled the wife. ‘One way you save it and the other you pay it.”—IJndianapolis News. Quick Action—Last year old Slick was paying court to Miss Smarty. And this year he is paying her ali- mony.—Baltimore American. Nature's Wisdom—“A woman can’t learn to throw a baseball straight,” re- marked Mr. Rafferty as he paused to observe some athletic practice. “No,” said Mr. Dolan; “no more than she can a flatiron or a stove lid or a rollin’ pin. And isn’t it the wise provision of Nature!”—Washington Star. The Main Thing—“ That little wait- ress has taking ways.” . “TI wish she had some fetching ones.” — Baltimore Americon. His Mobile Mind “He always kept repeating that some day, on crossing the street, he would be a case of auto-suggestion.”—La Beionnette (Paris). First Siren—That woman took all his money from him dunng their engagement. Second Siren—Well, why doesn’t he hurry up and marry her so that he can get it back?— Lustige Blaetter (Berlin). Strategy—If you want to get your old jokes laughed at, tell them to a girl who has dimples.—Cincinnati Enquirer. To Get Rid of Him—“I’d hate to be such a bore.” “Now and then it pays to be a bore.” “Huh?” “Sometimes a girl will kiss a man good- by when she wouldn’t kiss him for any other reason on earth.” —Louisville Cour- ter-Journal. 19 Yes, Wood Is What He Said—Redd —Did you see that skull in the museum with the strange hieroglyphics on it? Greene—Oh, yes, I saw it. “What does it represent?” “Why, it’s one of the early examples of engraving on wood, I believe.”— Yonkers Gazeue. Own Your Own Trap—Tourisi— My good friend, do you earn your liv- ing by simply trapping and skinning animals? Trapper—Yep! It runs in the family. I got a brother in Philadelphia in the same business. Tourist—In Philadelphia? Trapper—Yes!. He owns one o’ them apartment houses.— Philadel phia Bulletin.