Judge — July 17, 1920 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wryneck—“A strong man like you ought not to beg. Why don’t you look round for a job?” “T can’t look round, ma’am. a stiff neck.”— Karikaturen ania). I have (Christi- Stung!—“‘Yes, mum,” sniveled the Panhandler, ‘‘there was a time when I rode in my own carriage.” “My, what a comedown!” sy mpa- thized the Kind-Hearted Woman. “And how long has-it been since you rode in your own carriage?” “ Just 45 years, mum,” replied the Pan- handler, as he pocketed the proffered dime. “I was a baby then.”—Cincin- nati Enquirer. Answered the Definition—‘Quite a good epigram that,” said the tramp who had been convicted for vagrancy. “What did he say?” asked the tramp’s “Seven days. I once asked a parson what an epigrain was, and he said: “It’s a short sentence that sounds light, but gives you plenty to think about.”— Stray Stories. A Low Aside “He must be rich. During the war, they say he put something aside og “tHe did-—his scruples!"—430 (Plarence). ‘A Voluminous Wisher — ‘‘Now,” said the fairy, “I will grant you three wishes.” “Lady,” was the reply, “three wishes wouldn't mean anything to me. I’m a socialist.” —Washington Star. . A Sore Spot with Her Lady from the City—Monster! I have watched you for some time, teasing that boy. Now, let him have that saw—instantly!—Sondags Nisse (Stockholm). On the Go—‘Mrs. Gadder says if housing conditions don’t improve she may have to live in her motor car.” “That would be the obvious thing to do,” replied Mrs. Snipperton. ‘She practically lives in it now.”—Birming- ham Age- Herald. Fixing the Blame—‘ Here, there!” yelled Constable Sam T. Slackputter, the redoubtable sleuth of Petunia. “You knocked that there innocent bystander down while he was peroozing along about his business, ran over him, stopped, backed up, and passed athwart, as it were, of him again. What in fire do you mean by such doin’s?” ““Why—doggone it!” cried the offend- ing motorist, “he knew me, knew the name of this car, and knew, too, that this is the first time I’ve ever driv’ this’n or any other, and yet, dadburn him, he went and got right in the way!”— Kansas City Star. The Other Fellow—‘Who was to blame for this automobile accident?” asked a passerby. “The other fellow,” said a young man. “Which one?” “The other fellow. I asked both of the drivers who was responsible and that’s what they told me.”—Louisville Courier- Journal. He Wond \—‘Hang it! man, if your flivver been stolen, why don’t you ring up the police?” “I’m not worrying about the car. I’m wondering how they made the blamed thing go.”—Harper’s Magasine. Preposterous—‘“‘What’s wrong with Mr. Glipping?” asked Mrs. Jibway. “The doctor says his motor nerves are affected,” repled Mr. Jibway. “T don’t believe it.” “Why not, my dear?” “Those Glippings don’t car.” —Birmingham Age-Herald, own 3 At the Trial—County Judge—The offi- cer tells me that you used very bad language. Culprit—I was in a tantrum when he stopped me. County Judge—Well never mind. I don’t care anything about the make of the car.—Philadelphia North American. comicbooks.com