Judge, 1920-07-03 · page 5 of 36
Judge — July 3, 1920 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis: "The Jellyjumper Marriage Mystery" This page presents the opening of a serialized mystery story by Gelett Burgess, titled "The Jellyjumper Marriage Mystery," described as the fifth in a series of "Yellowish Mysteries." The narrative concerns a man named Ferret seeking his fiancée. The story employs comedic wordplay and absurdist humor typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine—notably, the protagonist's surname "Jellyjumper" and references to characters with whimsical names like "Van Poop." The piece satirizes detective fiction and romantic melodrama popular in the era, using exaggerated plot elements (kidnapping, counterfeiting gangs, mysterious mansions) and deliberately silly character names for humorous effect. Rather than political satire, this is light entertainment poking fun at mystery story conventions themselves.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The End of * a Perfect _ Movie Drawn ty ~ Frank Carnie } The Jellyjumper Marriage Mystery Fifth of the Series of Yellowish Mysteries By Ge.etr Burcess Author of “Are You a Bromide?”, “Goops and How to Be Them,” “Love in a Hurry,” “Ain't Angie Awful!” Etc. Cuarrer I.” Wanted: A Bride OW all this, my little friends, was after the kidnaping of Mrs. Van Poop’s prize Port- uguese Poodle, Flipflap III, which Ferret had so cleverly traced to the machinations of the Pedigreed Sausage Company. It was after the recovery and reconnection of the Governor of Michisota’s great toe, which the Albino detective had discovered alone, and almost starving, in the Museum of the Hysterical Historical Society. And it was just before New York was flooded with wooden money by a master gang of bargain counterfeiters, foiled by the man with the wonderful pink eyes. So now you know when it was, and there is a great load off your mind. But what was it? This is the probloid. Ferret (who always did look like a farmer), was now in the hay day of his career. To be sure he was mar- ried, but otherwise he was quite healthy, thank you kindly. One final achievement and he could retire to Los Angeles and gaze at Movie Queens every day, free. He was busy, one morning, counting the holes in his socks, when the telephone bell stopped the score at No. 9%. “Is this Ferret?—Ferret of the freak face?” asked a tall, dark complected voice. “In which case I want you to find my fiancée. We are to be married at four o'clock, if you succeed. Otherwise I shall have to marry her mother.” “Who, in fact, are you?” Ferret sternly asked of the transmitter. But it was the receiver who answered. “I am John Jellyjumper of No. 1342--but my address is confidential. I'll tell you when I see you. Geta taxi and come at once. You needn’t pay the chauffeur—we have a rear exit.” And so ten minutes later, Ferret found himself in a beautiful kiss-colored reception room, the pictures on whose walls showed that though the owner hadn’t many old masters, he had lots of old mistresses. Mr. Ferret was sadly regretting that in his haste he had forgotten to put on his shoes, when Mr. J. entered. He looked like a chronic alum-eater; and when he said anything with a “b” in it, his mouth completely van- ished. And so many things do have a “b” in it—like Hive, for instance! comicbooks.com