Judge — June 19, 1920 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Relief—* You don’t know how much you have cheered me,” said the fashion. ysician doctor, how can I, a sick man, cheer you?” “Because you are really sick and need my professional skill to cure you. Most of my patients are rich people with im aginary ailments. I’m glad to get a chance now and then to practice some thing besides deception.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. The n Who Walked—This is « picturesque but entirely truthful story of a wealthy English traveler who was stricken dangerously ill in a remote re- gion of China, far from the help of any bi native physicians. The Chine: their physicians are profound students of their kind, whatever may be the differ- ences between their practice and that of European doctors. When the English man consulted the Chinese practitioner. the latter listened carefully to the in- valid’s exposition of his symptoms shortness of breath, loss of appetite, ver- tigo, and all the rest. Then he offered his prescription. “Walk home,” he said “What!” exclaimed his pati home to England?” Yes.” “But I can hardly walk a block! It exhausted me completely to get here re an ancient race, and “Walk The Embonpoint Cord Speaking of High Horses ne a Wr Kyow a Max Wio Wott Like ro Come Down of ov His.—Leacenwcorth Post from my hotel! And what about the sea?” pu must walk a stated distance on deck,” said the Chinaman.“ Make your sea passages as short as possible The Englishman protested angrily, but the sum total of the Chinaman’s advice was: “Walk home.” The Englishman had traveled widely, and he was open to new ideas. The next day found him with a silken tent and a retinue of Chinese servants tottering into the outskirts of that remote Mongolian village. He was able to walk a bare quarter of a mile A year later he arrived in England, completely restored to health. He had walked every inch of the way, including the prescribed constitutional on deck during the short necessary sea passages The Log of the Circumn * Club Why, Fret, wHar nas apcow OF MY DRINK? Die Notentraker (Amsterdam). Oh, Dear, No! here, my poor man visitor, “Well, lady,”’ replied the prisoner, *1 guess my trouble started from attending too many weddin’s.”” “Ah! You learned to drink there, or ul, perhaps?” No, lady; 1 was always the bride groom n Telegraph “What brought you inquired the prison His Order timber merchant, and he was sitting in his office musing gloomily over the out look, when there entered a well-dressed man with a quiet, thoughtful face. “Do you sell beechwood?” hi bluntly “Ido, sir,” replied the merchant, rising with alacrity from his seat, and hoping devoutly for a large order. “* We can sup- ply it en the shortest notice, either in the log or the plank.” He began to rummage through the papers on his desk for a price-list; but the quiet man stopped him ‘Oh, I don’t want as much as that.” “TL only need a bit to make a London Tit-Bits Trade was bad with the asked, he said fiddle-bridge.” Wiring a Secret—"Why did you strike the telegraph operator?” asked the patrol officer of the gob who was sum moned for assault “Well, sir, I gives him a telegram to send to my gal, an’ he starts readin’ it So, of course I ups and gives him one.” The Arklight Intruders—“Why don't. you take children in this apartment house? Their crying,” replied the janitor, “is liable to interfere with the phono. graphs and player-pi Detroit Free Press Treble Woe—The Preacher —What times! — Pec walk out of the church in the day and break into it at night Simplicissimus (Munich). Contemplating a Raise You say your landlord is not hard-boiled?” “Not yet,”’ replied the tenant, “but I frequently see him doing a little figuring on the back of an envelope and I fear that by the time my lease expires he'll be in the seme class with a twenty-minute egg.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. comicbooks.com