Judge — June 5, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

In the Land of Palate’s Desire want red wine or white? difference— (France) A Stock Chaser—A local manufactur- ing concern recently advertised in the papers for a “stock chaser” in the pure chasing department. Many answer were received, but one in particular showed the writer’s con- ception of the job, for he said: “T think I am qualified to fill the position I see you advertise in the News, as I’ve been a farmer all my life.”—Jndianapolis News. Meeting of Corporation—Council- lor Jones: “Owing to the urgency of the matter, I propose we have the Cemetery extended as soon as possible, and have the ground consecrated ready for use. Councillor Muggins—\ rise to second the proposal, and in regard to having the ground consecrated—well, it’s ten te since I had my back yard done with it, and it’s still wearing splendidly.—Lon- don Telegraph. Translated—“When I told the man your proposal, he gave vent to a loud s of equine cachinnations.” “What's that you said?” “1 said he burst out in a horse laugh.” —Baltimore American. of sei Not in a Religious Sense—In he Zone Finance Office a letter was received inquiring about a bond which the soldier had purchased. His letter was rather incoherent and the office was unable to identify the case. So a letter went back to the soldier asking for more informa- tion and incidentally inquiring whether it was a converted bond. “Naw, the bond wan’t converted,” wrote back the soldier, “and I don’t want it messed up in religion either. You just send it on to me like ‘twas.”—Vew York Exening Post. Never Again— Miss Howles—1 don’t think you were really anxious to hear me sing. He (earnestly)—Indeed I was! 1 never heard you before.—Boston script. Most Embarrassing— “I notice Miss Yowler closes her eyes when she reaches for a high not “So she does, but don’t think there's any safety for you in that.” “What do you mean?” “The last time she reached for a high note, and I st opened her eyes and caught me in the act.” —Birmingh Age-Herald. pped up my ears, she The Setting Son Trials of a ‘Jazz “Artist—On the occasion of his daughter’s coming of aj a well-known rchant gave a dance which the jazz band of the local music hall was engaged. During a brief inter- val for refreshment, even the grinning features of the negro conductor displayed expression of dismay on being approach confidentially by the merchant. “My daughter is going to sing Two es of Grey in English,” he explained, and as it is a very pathetic song, I want your band to put a great deal of fecling in the accompaniment.""—Exguella (Barce- fona). Entertainment—“How’s your sing- in’ society getting along?” inquired Si Simlin. Fine,” replied Jud Tunkins. “The singin’ doesn’t amount to much yet, but some of the arguments are full of first- class repartee.”—Washington Star. 1¢ Father—Don't you ever tire of being lazy and doing nothing? ¢ Ido —but then I rest up." — Kaine (Stockholm) comicbooks.com