Judge — May 15, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bitter Disappointment— Old Farmer Furmut went to London for a vi on a friend’s advice, stayed at a quict hotel in Bloomsbur: On his return to the village this friend asked how he had got on “Rotten!” shortly “Why, weren't they nice to you at the hotel?” asked his friend in surprise. “Nice?” Old Turmut’s tones were withering. “Well, if you call it being nice to fool a man because he comes from the country, they were. Why, the very first night that I stayed there they gave me a big bottle to take to bed, and when I unscrewed the stopper there weren't anything in it but hot water."’—London retorted the old chap lnswers. Etiquette First—Mother keen on correct deportment, and never lost a chance of instilling it into Ma- hell “There's one important dear.” she said. ‘* You point at anything.”” “But mamma,"’ objected the girl, suppose I am shopping, and don’t know the name of a thing?” “Then let the assistant everything in stock until he comes to you desire.”"—St, Augustine was very thing. my must never show you the article Record Al In the Open—He is a big hunter, and was talking of his happy experiences in the out-of-doors. Then the talk drifted to old friends. back in the old home town. “Whatever became of one friend asked the hunter “Oh, hadn't you heard? jail.” You don’t tell me?" “Yep, I went down to the jail to see him the other day.” “That was a friendly So-and-So?”" He's in thing to do. What did you talk about?” “Oh, life!’ —Indiana polis outdoor tic Treatment—*Do you he- in deporting ‘reds’ in government “Certainly not,”” replied the square- jawed citizen. “What's your plan?” “Make ‘em swim Herald. Birmingham . Union Rules Against the Second Howse H ‘ am—to see a week's work finished in thre seconds!—World (London) Economy—"'I wish I knew whether my next door neighbor is going to plant a able garden.”” Why are you anxious to know?” “Because if he is I needn't spend so chicken feed.’ Baltimore much — for Imerican Bound to Find Out—She—When | get to Heaven I am going to ask Solomon why he had so many wives. He—Whiat if he isn’t there? She—Then you ask him.—Boston Globe Those Girls—/dith—Maud Elderby has a remarkably fresh complexion Maric—Masn’t she? 1 never saw such & young head on such old. shoulders Boston Transcript No Unnecessary Detail— Marcella Don’t you think my dress is artistic? Waverly—Especially so in’ one princi ple of art. “What's that?” “The elimination of nonessentials.” Youngstown Telegram Endless Quest" You don’t read the daily ‘Health Hints’ any more?” vo. Dr. Bilker’s column lacks va riety “How so” *Most of the queries come from fat ladies anxious to lose surplus poundage and lean ladies who want to acquire a few curves.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. In the Peanut Mode I ordered th t the memb he Pe 19