Judge — May 1, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drwen by Rov Rows Digest of the World’s Humor ve One Attraction — An irritable dys- peptic was advised by his physician to take up golf to improve his health, and went to purchase an outfit, “1 suppose I’ve got to play the game because it’s doctor’s orders,” he re- marked ruefully; “but I never could make out what the attraction of the game is.” “Well,” replied the dealer, “there’s one thing about it: so far as I know, it’s the only game at which you can praise a lady’s form without being imperti- nent.”"—London Tit-Bits. Offended—Golf Professional (giving a lesson)—You know, sir, you lift your elbow too much to play golf properly. New Member—I'll report you to the committee. I’m a lifelong tcetotaler! —Dallas News. Shifting the Scenery—Sir Harry Lauder golfs with more enthusiasm than skill, and one day on the links he was in unusually bad form. At the fourth hole Sir Harry dis- lodged an unusually large sod. The sod rose up into the air and sailed like a great bird down the wind, and Sir Harry’s caddy, watching it, said to his companion: “Did you tell me that guy was an actor, Pete?” “Sure, Bill,” said the other caddy, a note of apology in his voice. ‘An actor—that’s what they call him.” The first caddy took a thoughtful chew of tobacco. “Vd call him a scene shifter,” he —Washington Star. “Do you think pquired the always A Stimulus to 1 it pays to play golf? practical man, I do,” replied Mr. Wolloper. “Two hours of golf provides a man with mate- rial for conversation that will last for several weeks.” —Washington Star. Work, Not Play—Afrs. Flatbush— Where is your husband today? Yrs. Bensonhurst— Oh, he’s gore out on the links to finish his golf game. “What! on Sunday?” “Oh, he’s not playing today.”” “TI thought you said he had gone out on the links to finish his game?” “T did. He’s gone out to look for the golf balls he lost Saturday.”— Yonkers Statesmair The Claws of the Tiger Bousnevisa —The Tatler (London). A) Good) Memory—Redd—That fel- low Block’s got a mighty good memory, Greene—How do you know? se he borrowed $5 from me go, and he remembers it so never asked me for a loan since.”— Yonkers Statesman, The Greatest Panic— New Reporter What was the worst financial panic you ever went through, Mr. Moneybags? Mr, Moneybags—Let me see. Coming home one night in the street car some- body dropped a nickel and seven wo- men claimed it.— Houston Post, Evidence of Income—“ Bliggins is trying to dress in a that will -make people think | he is making a whole lot of money.” “Silk hat and patent leather shoes that sort of thing?” “Not these days. He has to put on a suit of overalls and is carrying a plumber’s outfit.” —Washington Star, She Had Saved Him— Eighty dol- What Irate Husband—What! lars for a hat! Complacent Wife—What’s $80? Think what I saved you on your in- come tax!—Boston Globe. His Luck—“ You say Smith came into sudden wealth?” “Yes; lucky dog that he is.”” “How was that—what do mean—sudden wealth?” “An old maid with $1,000,000 said to him: ‘Thi: so sudden.?”"— Florida Times-Union. you comicbooks.com