Judge — April 24, 1920 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE With t he Le Irrepressible, Joyous, His Ideal The Unpunctured One—And what's your ideal of a girl, my dear? The Martyr—Oh, a vaudeville actress. It only takes them two seconds to change their clothes.—California Pelican Help! Help! Lady of the House—Have you a letter from your last mistress? Applicant—Well, mum, we was friendly when we parted, but we haven’t been carrying on ro correspondence, mum.—Cornell Widow. Some One Ought to Die ‘Permit me to dic at your feet!” he cried desperately. She shivered. “I see no objection to that,” she answered. “All that papa said was that you shouldn’t hang around here.”—Columbia Marma—Vhat girl is awfully fast A Good Test Duke—Do you think so; . ‘ ; Marma—Yes, she covered five laps last night Student—W hat about wood-alcohol? 7 k Johnny Smythe will make Cornell Wido Stude—Don't yi gt how iG 7 a wonderful leading man?” Cornell Wide ie Don’t you know how to test for “Oh, wonderful from the way Ma hat? . has been leading him around all winter The Quarrel Student—No. —Stanford C We were wretched, we had quarreled, Stude—Filter through a handkerchief and Jane and I, best pals for years see if you get any splinters.—Lehigh Burr The Both Of Us Life to me was shattered, broken; We They Jane seemed on the verge of tears. Kiss Me, My Fool Smoke Powder their noses There once was a jolly young loafer Cuss Scream “Monster! You shall go this instant! Who worked beaucoup fast on a soafer Snake Come-out With tonight acquaintance ends! So when the house party came, Used to drink Did, too!! I shall hate you always, ALWays. He brought a nifty young jane We can never more be friends!” To pay for it, now he’s a choafer And We While They Cornell Wider Cut dates Are late for dates Nervous, fear, on the sofa Overdraw bank accounts Profit thereby There I sat, nor did I stir = Hate a stiff shirt Love an evering gown “Can't you hear me?” Jane was crying, Borrow clothes Do, too!! I despise you, loathe you, sir q \ Yes We Sure They Then I answered, voice a-quiver Bullfight . Cat fight “You've no mercy on a chap. Shoot craps Play parchesi (?) But if I must truly leave you, BG Sleep in classes Stay away altogether se, get off my lap!” - Flunk exams ....Flunk em, too!" —Washingion Sun Dodger / And Yet But Still Up on the Mountain {4 They love us We love them “Who was Nero, Bill?” asked one student of just the same just the same another, “Wasn't he the chap who was always —Yale Record. cold “No,” said the wise student; “that was Zero, 4 There is Chaperones, and— —another guy altogether.”—Lehigh Burr. “Must I have a chaperone at the glee clut concert?” Prof.—Why are so many students taking “Yes. Spanish? “What do you mean when yOu'say my “But it’s a regular cold-cream treatment.” Wise One—They want to know how to talk would make s good biding place for beauty “What do you mean by that?” ) No one would ever find it ther ) in the oasis of Cuba.—Cornell Widow —lowa Frivol. “It keeps the chaps away?"—Columbia Jester. atelier AP SO a comicbooks.com