Judge — April 24, 1920 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

7 ne of the proofs handed to you then is a fractured differ- ential or a cracked spring The odd thing about it is, that although we have a spirit medium (| in our midst, the place hasn’t half My the mystery it had before. It was 4, in the old days that true, unadul- My terated mystery dwelt with us ifs VY verything was mystery then Y lhe great lottery was always on $ Now we know that even if things VA Ye are wrong, Madame Thermes, ft) our wonderful Motor Medium, 77/7 will surely locate the wrong, and Jake will mend it. Wy MYL Your Photograph By Stvaxt W. Kxicur OUR photograph is an a ¥ curate measure of the way you wish you looked. If it looks as bad as you look, you refuse to accept it as your pho- tograph. You malign the photog- rapher who leaves a line that does not appeal to your aesthe estimate of yourself; you defame him who cannot take a picture that promises to perpetuate the fame of your beauty; you re- prove him who does not show you the proof of a Greek cod and tell you that it is you. You are more than sensitive about the way your features are reproduced There is no question about it; if he is at all clever, the photographer will bring forth a picture that exactly resembles you as seen through the eyes of your best Drown by W. 0. Wrisas +44 girl, Your photograph has-no legal, moral or photo- graphic right to look like a footprint on the sands of time. Thank heaven that you have the grit to tell that to the photographer. The raw Sxapsuot oF a Supurpanite Wuo Piantep Grass Seep Yesterpay above anxious to have your face the grounds for cracking funny jok The proof that you will accept is the one that proves beyond the peradven- ture of a doubt that you have no facial reasons for hating your- self. Perhaps it is the camera that is at fault. If this be true, still you are in no way disposed to condone the photographer for taking a picture that does not look as you want to look. It is his business to get a decent in- strument. You would, as soon pardon the virtuoso for playing a violin fitted with banjo strings as you would the photographer for snapping a camera with an im- proper lens attached thereto. More people are made to look the way they do not want to look by photographers than by any other one class of men. As you ze upon your displeasing photo- graph you cannot deny that you ‘ wish the laws regarding the prac- tice of photography were as rigid as those relating to the practice of medicine, surgery, dentistry, or any other art, trade or profession that does not always make perfect in the eye of the client or victim Decline of the Pocket ‘The right of entry, search and seizure in the pocket narrows a very old institution to the carrying of bare necessities only. It is now a crime to carry a flask of liquor, a pistol, a three inch jackknife. a reproduction of * September Morn” or a bomb in your poc The keyring. candy, marbles, a pipe and fountain pens are still immune, but for how material you furnish for the picture has never won any pulchritude prizes: you willingly admit this Nevertheless, you are ab- solutely certain that it was never so gnarled by Nature or by accident as rapher. Proof is surely a mis- nomer.’ The only thing it proves is that your photographer does not know any more about his art than a rhinoceros does about trigonometry, and that he is planning to give yours friends grounds to crack excru- ciatingly funny jokes prawn by Banxsoare Rocens about your face, Natur- ally you are not over and Alice—They say Tom is an ex Marim—Nonsence! Ethel mad: 4 long? Money may be still car- ried with some degree of safety if padlocked in a pocket of the third under- Vest \ new political party is needed in this country—the Pocket-Rights Party, It is & greater need than Tom Marshall's slogan, Give us a good five-cent cigar! The Victor “Did you win your di- vorce suit?” “Well, yes, ina way. I got the custody of the dog.” A One-Gylinder Boss “I gave her an earful, said the dictator as he sent a see ta the completed record to his dic- ; na week taphone operator. comicbooks.com