Judge — April 17, 1920 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

April 17. 1920 SUBSCRIPTIONS worth fifty cents th saly €1.50 WEATHER AN inti OEIUDGE 9 A NEWSPAPER with a HUNCH EXTRA Ithaca Swept Cyclone! By a Cornell University Torn to Pieces by a Gale of Excitement The Whole Town in Uproar Hrnaca, N.Y. (Special to The Bugle) There have been some storms in this picturesque vil lage on the shore of Old Cayuga during the win ter--blizzards, wind riots, and the like— but when the editors of The Cornell Widinw received a wire the other day to the effect that the Cornell boys had won the handsome Silver Cup offercd by Judge as a prize to College Magazines in com petition in His Honor’s College Wits Number Blooie! Something “broke loose Prominent in the athletic and other more or less strenuous contests which in colle s foil the intellectual, Cornell has won perhaps more than its share of trophics from other institutions. But never before has that part of the well-known welkin¥that arches Tompkins County, N.Y echoed with such cries, shout Is and general vociferation as the student bedy of Cornell emitted upon learning that they had won Cup. In a wire to Judge from the editors of The Cor- nell Widae, among other jubilant things. this was said: “The Faculty even is kotowing in undi- luted admiration for the Greatest Victory of t Year! Score One for the Faculty! The b any university is naturally self-conta any merely muscular triumph of the boys under its dispensation, and it is to be expected that the Faculty of Cornell should perk up even to the point of violent exclamation over a victory of Brains, Well, the Cornell student body just painted Ithaca and its environs a deep rich crimson, and as Ithaca loves its Cormellians, the town itself glowed reflectively with consummate jor ulty ined upon —:0:— A TERRIBLE INDICTMENT Noted Writer Exposes Innermost Secrets of Womankind Carolyn Wells, the fa- mous author, called by an eminent critic “the feminine Mark Twain,” has made the discovery that there are no less than one hundred and thirty-nine varieties of the human cat, all of whom belong to the female persuasion of some strata of society, and most of whom spend their New York, April 24 time in slamming their sister citizens. ‘The author has been engaged upon her voluminous compilation of the female feline for a long t and the result of her investigations will be given to the world exclusively in an early issue of Judge Not since Einstein advanced his theory of the Relativity of Inter-stellar Space in the Newtonian Hypotheses have upsetuing its Cognition of scientific circles Leen so agitated as by this startling analysis presented in the Carolyn Wells theorem of the felinus In her chapter on “Fur, Fat and Forty” the author expo: ns of the indifferent sex. No ncan be compl ures in emina, the dearest delusi ¢ until she has Ty dominating wife will continue in his state of domestic dom after reading the Wellsisn doctrine of the seli-determination of the married male It is expected that a social revolution will fol woman's educat read these terrific ext man now suffering under the lash of and no seri low immediately upon the heels of the appear ance of Judge in which the Carolyn Wells artick ippears, and armed guards have been ordered to be ready in all the big cities to protect local newsdealers from the onslaught of prospective wvers. the well-k ys he will accept the nomina idency on the Prohibition ticket, if his friends insist upon it. One of the planks in his plat- form will be * De it Pluribus should w Vhis Giddy printed fine pi they pur i fr hear Oliver Hert ely N Mot pay the por iv » MacDo the first thing he dic the depot, by Joseph St Angus used to be foesn't think it because Prof. Ste \rthur erm ing yor t. has a nev Waldron's inimitabl is Jim's favorite illus another of J Lawrence Fellows Wl vice-versa, When the s way we feel that the millennium § time age that I men like Perey Crosby a tartan art chsh. How ai 1 Hill Breck wo Sundayed in Alstead. No Tribune revently, with his p n about him by Art Guiterman. That Or uf better if he had drawn himself § vand would Chester Garde lately have | for the acting paper , hdelpbia (1 over frat by Gelett Burvess, conductor just been issued by the ot Hi That thi sever written by: hi Powe bh. Viner “| Dept wland & Day ting boc F opinion, ve read a numbe No Antipodal Antipathy Ali good wishes to Juncr, the smartest paper th over the water te Australi Tw Pais, Greenrocm tine, Sydney, Muste For That Tired Feeling If you suffer from th still sulking inner hers. use JUG every week ty ir or art ount by 7 or att Hally boc yhody who succeeds in si and Muley Cannon | he has to look straight up a tering the contest is that he dee ns show Bally hew ¢ Tink Nitz's aber of Tink’s nition by the census n cigar the first « d for the « yesterday morning, has t immediately, b works is altogether too muc comicbooks.com