Judge — April 10, 1920 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by Hewes Pauwien Digest of the World’s S AUTO a elfish—"Do vou know asked the first’ road Thoroughly what I'd like? hog. No. What would you like?” second porcine person “I'd like to have a motor car so big there wouldn't be room on the broadest boulevard for anything to pass me but a Birmingham Age- Herald. said the breeze.” Puzzled—“This old chronicle that the queen was attended by her mistress of the robes, her handmaiden and her tire woman.” “Well?” “L comprehend the mistress of the robes, of course. The handmaiden was her manicure, but I didn’t understand about the tire woman. They had no automobiles in those days.” —Louisville Courier-Journal, says Looked for—‘There is a fortune awaiting the man who can invent—” “Invent what?” “A noiscless flivver.”—Baltimore ican. I mer. No Great Handicap—"The author of this motor romance never owned a car.” “That doesn’t mean anything in particular.” a corking good he'd never 1 ¢e-Herald. “Jules Verne wrote about the moon, but Birmingham story been there.” Something Needed “Something good. I think it will make a hit.” “What is it?” “A garage with one living-room at tached." —Louisville Courier-Journal A Fascinating Outlook Oh, That's Different!—“What « you think of Uncle John getting arreste in that old junk automobile of his?’ “Surely not for speeding?” “Nope; for blocking the traffic Jacksonville Times- Union. Not Pleasing Lookout you have fine prospects for your aut “I suppose mobile trip.” “T hope not nearly ruined me. The last batch of fines "—Baltimore American. One-Horse Town “li bet yours is ne-horse town,” said the city fellow “You said it, old man,” replied the suburbanite. “Everybody in town has an automobile but one man, and he sti to his horse.""—Vonkers Statesman 1s He Should Worry—Mrs. Flat “What was it I told you a litde while ago, John?” Mr. Flatte mt wasn’t listening. Now isn’t that provoking? And 1 just can’t think what it was to repeat iu!’— Yonkers Statesman. know, dear; 1 Located—A gentleman who was con tinually losing his collar button while dressing complained to his wife about it With an ingenuity born of the use of hair- pins she told him to hold his collar but- ton in his mouth and he wouldn't lose it. This worked for several days, when one morning she was startled by an unusual commotion. “What's the anxiously “T've swallowed the aid the man. Well.” responded his better half, “for nce in your life you know where it is.”” Truth Seeker. matter?” asked the wife collar button, Maw Knows a Few Things—II illic Paw, what is the difference between an engaged girl and a married woman? Mawe—A married woman. personally attends to the work of putting on her rubbers, my son Willie, you keep shut!—Cincénnati Enquirer your mouth Feminine Reasoning- man isa naturalist, you sa “Yes, madam. His favorite animal is the hippopotamus.” How such a pretty Herald This gentle extraordinary! And he has wife!” —Birmingham « comicbooks.com