Judge — April 3, 1920 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ame, Only There's Mrs, Nuptials with the man she divorced five years ago.” “Same old husband, eh?” Yes, same old husband, only revamped.” Harvard Lampoon Candor Diner—See here, waiter, I ordered an egg and here you bring me a chicken Quite right, sir; it was an egg when Stanford Chaparral. hours ago Waiter you ordered it Anti-Climax “Well, dear, if you really want me to go out with you, you'll have to wait while I powder my nose and put a few clothes on.” —Columbia Jester. Getting Ready for the Dance Old Mother Hubbard, She went to the cupboard To get her fair daughter a dress. When she got there The cupboard was bare And so was her daughter—I guess. —Syracuse Orange Peel. Wickedness Lam wicked, and it is all my wife’s fault. I am unwillingly forced to manual labor because my’ wife obstinately refuses to support me. My neighbor's wife works in the laundry and provides for him And then the Good Book says, “Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife.”—W. L. W. '22.—California Peli He—(pass' pitch dark near to see our cares: She—Y face ou've forgotten ¢ garden, and no 4 poor meni Irresponsible Boy—At least I can give you the neces life. At first you could not expect such luxuries as cooks, mansions and motor Co-Ed—But, silly, those are the neces anford Chaparral. Antiseptically Speaking “Who is that man with the cross-cyed, ugly little boy?” “That is the professor of eugenics and his son.” Stanford Chaparral Mystery I think the Mormon prophet was \ very funny man, I wonder how his wives enjoyed His prophet-sharing plan? Princeton Tiger. Different Faint heart never won fair lady But she’s a brunette.—Vale Record. Dyee Bones Flivvering Give me feur in a car on a smooth, wide road White in the moonlight’s gleam That shines ona driver who steers with his And a kiss for every beam You may keep your parlor’s shadowy nook 1 want the tires’ croon, \ lunch in a town that is miles away And return ‘neath the silvery moon California Pelican 28 Might Have Beens “ZT might have married a millioniare,”” de clared Everywoman. “One of my old schoo! mates is now one.”” “And several of your schoolmates are working right at this time for S10 a w retorted Everyman, “while one of them is in jail. 1 guess in marrying a chap getting $1500 «a year vour average is fairly good.” And then Everybaby set up a howl and they had to stop quarreling to attend to him Mass. Tech. Voo Dov. Logic Vetty—Hear you have thrown Bob over. Betty——Ves, he was such a poor letter-writer, I was ashamed to show his love letters to the girls. —Stanford Chaparral. Elucidated “A womun’s life is divided into two great periods.” Jucidate.” he first she spends looking for a husband. and the second looking after him.”— Votre Dame Juggler. Beside the Still Waters Retorts—There are more than two hundred fellows in my chemistry class. Torts—What the deuce are they going to de when they graduate? Retorts—Well, the country’s gone dry. ord Chaparral The New Service “Witch-hazel, sir?” asked the barber of the person beneath the towels. “Please. And a chaser.”"—Illinois Siren / She—Ilave cw bodies this ert? or Winter * Lantern, mobile comicbooks.com