Judge — April 3, 1920 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i | a oe cab drivers, subway and trolley guards, to act like decent human being: But if these failed to grasp the opportunity, as they usually do, the members of the Brotherhood would make a scene, the bigger the better. And they would finish as they began, with zest and without weakening. The Brotherhood would make a scene over paying three cents for a two-cent paper, and ten cents for a five-cent telephone call. They would resent lordly detachment of proud room clerks as they resented bad manners of ruthless fellow passengers in pub- lic conveyances or on the streets. They would call down. sneezers and coughers in theaters and cars, Little M they would arrest promiscuous Sat in Sipp Drawn by Ba We Rests Muffet, expectorators. It would be a lot of trouble? It would make them conspicuous? It would make their lives one long series of nerve-racking rows? Yes, for a while. But,everything worth anything in this world has been accomplished by people who were enor interested in the end they sought not to mind temporary incon- venience and discomfort. If you never put yourself out, you'll never put a project over But suppose my Brotherhood of Scene Makers em- braced the bulk of those who spend the money which keeps the machine going. Suppose they followed out their pledge honestly and faithfully for just one week he Bill that th Vook her her café au lait, resenting rudeness, gripping with graft, indicting indifference. By the end of that week the whole kit and caboodle of those who have flourished upon the public pa- tience and the generality’s fear of a scene would be themselves ter- rorized and shocked into a realiz. tion that they lived only by pub- lic favor, and that their tyranny had crumbled. ‘The good old day's of “getting away with murder” would be finished. The epithet of cheap skate and piker would have lost its efficacy, and life in a modern metropolis would become something like the smoothly func- tioning organism that it should be. But | confess that an Inter- national Brotherhood ot Scene Makers, which so far has a mem- bership consisting of myself, is waiter suffering from a nervous break- “ Flashed, few minutes later, 1 1 and her bank roll away. down due to one day’s intensive operation, and that until T can pledge at least a thousand assistants, | shall hereafter make no scene whatever over any extortion less than five dollars or any rudeness short of personal violence. An Honest Confession Ry Tom P, Morass “ PRIENDS,” began the ancient man, slowly unfolding and rising in his place, “I was cighty-three years old last October. Fifty-eight years ago 1 quit licker, terbacker, card playin’, dancin’, hoss-racin’ ‘| and tom-cattin’ around gen er'ly.” “ Asaeasaemen!” shouted an enthusiastic hearer. “That's a long time to walk in the straight and narrer way, Brother Dwindle!” “Yape!” returned the hon est’ old gent, “and it has seemed considerable — longer than it otherwise might a-did for since I quit them. sinful practices T hain’t had no real downright) fun, except the approval of my own con science, which, as such of you know as have experienced it hain’t no-ways excitin’.” Sage Comment It may be possible to reach a man’s heart through his stomach, but there are other ways of stuffing him. Ibafiez Is Right Parke—Does your wife know I’m coming to dinner? Drown by Ant Heuravr Way There Was a Brock or tHe Caste Cars 4 Lane—Oh, no. Twasafraid to tell her, comicbooks.com