Judge — March 27, 1920 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GE ng rick rat ‘alt ent GE ifeh Se. well \iso ake ity and Dat her ity March 27, 1920 There are a lot of folks in these United States who will sympathize with this cun- ning young- ster’s desire for a drink. This dimpled infant remind- ing Mamma that it’s bottle time expresses an emotion not uncom- mon in these days “IT Want a Drink!" noted It would be hard to resist the of this picture, one of the man. covers that have appeared on JUDG “The Happy Medium. Reproduced in full colors, mounted on a double mat, all ready for framing, this appealing picture is yours for 5 cents, postage prepaid. JUDGE ART PRINT DEPARTMENT 225 Fifth Avenue New York City a by Dox Hixoun » Hustle live wire, isn’t he; always at top Yes, he’s one of those persons who, since can't do anything else, always do it in a hurry.” A Toast By Sreicataxo Ginutan Here's a toast (Or a roast?), Town of Franklin's day: Biddle-bred. Scrapple-fed Phila—del—phi—ay?! “MADE AT al GARS CALIFORNIA GARDEN OF THE WORLD Beautiful alter art book — scenery, climate, seil, produits, industries, resources, health, social, religious, minerals seafoods, business: tunities, Gov. ‘lands, Si. Benton Pub. Co, Los Angeles, Cal. Post Card Probloid No. 10 Personally Conducted by Gerett Burcess RULE All answers must be written in ink or typewrite ten upon Post Cards the long way of the Card Cards must be addressed to Gelett Burgess care of JUDGE, 235 Fifth Avenue, New York. accot ed by the ctitor. : y Answers as red, provided e: written upon a rate Post Card. be considered in the Contest must be eceived at the Otfce of JUDGE not later than Ten Days after the date of the Issue in which Announcement of the F loid is made. 6. ‘The Answer which, in the opinion of Gelett . is the Best, will receive a Prize of Five Dollars Every other Answer published in JUDGE will of One Dollar, hed and Prizes awarded rth issue of JUDGE. after that cor Announcement of the Probloid. HEOQDORE ROOSEVELT was a wonder- T ful man. I noticed that the first time I met him. [was in Washington; so was he. But it wasn’t that which was so remark- able; [had expected that. It was his conversa- tion. “It’s a pleasant day,” he remarked, right off the bat. But then, he was famous for always saying the right thing, at the right time. ot all of us are so good at retorts as Tam. For years [ had been annoyed by people who came up to me and said, “How d’you do, Mr. Burgess? You don't remember me, do you?” and never mentioning their names. So, in wrath, one rainy Thursday, [ swore that, to the very next one who said that thing 1 would answer, “No—why should 12" Just like that. Well, at last, L said it, expecting to crush and mangle. But the pretty lady only answered sweetly, “Because you dined at my house last: week.” Some day I shall write a comic opera with that plot. So take notice that I am reserving all rights north of gand St... . but my mind is wandering . I shouldn't have eaten so much of that snake pie . . . especially in Lent Ml right, then... Here Tam again, up for the third time Retorts. Not still retorts, with a raisin to put a kick into it, but audible ones that leave a dark brown taste in your ears. When your little daughter asks you what makes the water wet, you can look it up (after dodging into the library for a minute on some pretext) in the Child’s Book of Knowledge (adv.) Or why mosquitoes always serenade in A Flat. Or why moles grow whiskers. What is the relation between the High Cost of Living and the Cost of High Living? But that, my friends, we shall discuss later, at say receive a O.15 This is the real It. What remark (in ten words) would you make to a bald-headed bar- ber, who tried to sell you a bottle of Hair Tonic? That is the Probloid. The Prize-Winning Replies to Probloid No. 10 will be announced in an curly issue of Judge. 33 Make Your Face and Figure Assets Have you the clear, glowing skin, bright eyes, well-devel- oped figure and upright elastic carriage, strength, force and physical attraction that be- token abounding health? Or are you puny, weak, lopsided, with sallow complexion and listless, luster- Jess eyes that tell everybody you area victim of bad habits or bad health? Don’t allow your face and figure to betray you and remain handicapping LIABLITIES4n the business of if MAKE them ASSETS that will helpin- stead of handicap you in the race for success and happiness. Nobody has any use fora man whose ppearan proclaims him a sickly failure: every one is ready to boost along a cheerful, red-blooded, virile friend or acquain= tance. BUILD UP YOURSELF A man’s happiness fargely depends upon. his VitaP Powers Ri ssctes ia social, domestic and business life ters around this. If he is not virile not magnetic, forceful or attractive; neither is he sought after —his very strength is the axis upon which all else relating to him revolves. Men become weak through overwork, worry, and bad ha strength. When they reach the their strength on the wane, it is the forerur Young men become listless and purposeles power decreases as their strength fails strengthens the muscles which are respx health and physical strength, that the most obstinate and long-standing cases give way in a short time I WILL HELP YOU 1 will help you, as I already have helped and am helping thousands of other weak and sickly men. I will show youa safe, sure, quick way back to health and strength and abounding _vitality—Nature’s way—which ALWAYS SUCCEEDS, when ber methods are understood and her laws observed. Don't make the mistake of thinking patent medicine dope can put red blood, or beef and brawn, or mental tissue, into any man. They may relieve and cover up the symptoms of the trouble for a while, but only Nature ca toot out the CAUSE and work a CURE. Learn Nature’s way, and make yourself again the kind of man you want to be, SEND FOR MY FREE BOOK It will tell you all about Strongtort:sin, the res: life work in studying ovt the way to m Tevitalizing force of for the upbu and broken down human:t: 4 Of the world wll test fy to its No interference with your rej @ccupation: you can practice Strongfortisn Benefits in the privacy of rber ifyou Likes Send to-day for a copy of ion of hand Mental Energy Rise. bat the a. Doat to pay for LION EL STRONGFORT ical and Health Speci 1251 Sirenatert Institute STRONGFORT The Perfet Mun “Who's your tai “It’s no use asking. I paid him today for this suit and he i by now.” Drawn by Lase. Canora “You'd better stop licking belong to the Dishwashers Unior comicbooks.com