Judge — March 27, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

mee me Substitution—The Editor won't do: “Die, cowardly v Harold.” Harold couldn't hiss those words. The Author—That’s so, Let’s make it “Expire, spiritless scoundrel.""—Boston Transcript, Paw Knows Everything—WV illic Taw, what is a committee? Paw—A committee is an outfit that takes six men’s time to do one man’s work, my son.—Cincinnati Enquirer. Still Opera Seats Are $7.75—In a letter from Mexico City, Caruso. de- scribes a performance af “Carmen” in a rootless arena during a heavy rainstorm. spectators had umbrellas. Says the great tenor, naively, “ We were all soaked but the public.” Well, turn about’s fair play, you know, old top.—Philadel phia Ledger. Described emotion?” “That, my boy, is when something happens which makes a man want to swear and he can’t because ladies are present.”"—Detroit Free Press. “Pa, what is a pent-up Classical Drama—Characters—Kath erine, a Northwestern Co-ed; Margaret a minister's wife. Place—History class. Property—A Greek notebook belonging to Margaret's husband, Ke ine (to Margaret)—Oh! So you take your notes down in shorthand. How lovely!—Boston Transcript. Shades of William and Mary!—Sir \ patient asked Dr. B. if the davenport in the reception room was a “Marion Williams.” She had heard they were awfully stylish and she was thinking of furnishing her living room with “ Marion Williams” furniture.—Chicago Tribune Father's Revolt—The college-bred daughter reproved her father for drop ping his “gs.” “Have I been droppin’ them?” he asked innocently “There you go n, father—drop: pin’. And you say comin’ and gi eatin’, It’s humiliating.” “ Daughte! aid the old man, after « thoughtful pause, “may I drop the fina! 'g’ in ‘egg’?’’—Boston Transcript and Service Stations cc the head ¢ “Tell your mother 7—Tell the maid. — Pasquino Roll Dem Bones!— Prisoner Schreck- meister—Hist! The American soldiers are planning a massacre in there. Prisoner Pickelsteiner—So? Schreckmeister—Ja. 1 heard one of them say “shoot fifty,”’ and then I heard a sound like the rattling of the victims’ '—Birmingham Age- Herald. tect Disappearing—* I notice a great deal of majesty and glory have gone from our outlook on the world just now.” “Yes; a lot of the second lieutenants have been mustered out.”—Baltimore American. Cause for Gloom—Jim—Why does William Windjammer look so glum? Tim—He was showing off his alleged French before the family and the French maid mistook it for Russian. —The Hon Sector. Itch to Print—"What was the first thing American troops did when they reached a new station in occupied Ger easy’ to answer,” said an ex- change editor. “They looked around for a German printing office and started a newspaper." —Birmingham Age-Herald. Sdll Kicking—Bacon—What’s the matter with your neighbor? Egbert—Why? “He looks dejected since he got back from the war. Can't he get his old job back?” “Ob, yes, he’s got it back.” “What's he doing?” “Kicking about the hours and the pav.”’—Vonkers Statesman Crushing Thought qui ont fondé la So Mere Human—And it’s p 16 like that who founded ee emer net ate wet merge 2 TOS ~W comicbooks.com