Judge — March 13, 1920 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Le Chauffeur (au cocher)—Tes jaloux, Coll piétons. Truck-dricer (to cabby)—Jealous, ain't yuh destriar a Paw Knows Everything—Willic law what is discretion? ’aw—Discretion is something that comes to a man when he is too old to benefit. by it, my son.—Cincinnati Enquirer She Came Through Clean—Xea Snickers—And your daughter, Mrs Bunks—the one that was going in for nursing—how is she? Well, | hope? Mrs. Bunks—Splendid, thank you, sir Last we 'eard from ‘er she was goin’ up for ‘er final contaminations.—Sydney (Australia) Bulletin Mercy!—The schoolroom was rather chilly, and the Boston school teacher sent this written complaint to the principal “There is hardly caloric enough in this altitudinize the mercury above Cincinnati Ei room t the freezing quotation.” Nothing of the Sort—*1 understood the two men had quite an epistolary argument.” istols about it. ‘They took it out Baltimore American, erowriting.” The Super-Smasher ‘cause yuh never could run over nothin’ but A Choice of Words—Alter having paid a fine of $5 and costs, a certain man directed some rather indelicate language it Justice Cooney of Compton, and then ran An officer captured him, brought him before the justice, who finded him $10 more. Had been more chaste and re fined in your language,” said,the justice uld not have been chased and U.S.C. Wampus How the Bolshevists Would Divvy Up “ Beco, adevo siamo wg “There, now we're cq (Pugin) 2 A Return Favor—A member of the Chicago bar tells the following story of the coolest man he ever knew. This man was awakened one night by burglars. He got up and went downstairs, and as he entered the dining-room, where the thieves were engaged in wrapping up the silverplate, they covered him with their revolvers. This, however, did not dis concert the houscholder at all. “Pardon me for disturbing you, gen- tlemen,” said he, “but [ should like you todo mea favor, If it is not too much to ask, will you be so good as to’post this letter for me? [It must go tonight. It’s the premium for my burglary insurance. Harper's: Magazine. Why Fair Ones Seek Him Out “Who is this man?” “A celebrated divorce kawyer.” ‘Why does he wear such a melancholy ‘sa mask he assumed to hide his ings. He can even shed a sym pathetic tear when there’s a large fee in sight.” Birmingham Age- Herald Cleaned Out —Judge—Have yeu any thing to offer the Court before sentence is passed on you? Prisoner—No, Your honor; my Lawyes took my last dollar.—Boston Transcript. Unexpected Answer—" Witness asked the attorney for defense, who was trying to prove the temporary insanity of the prisoner, “was it this man’s habit to talk to himself when alone?” “Just at this time,” came the answer “LT don’t recolleck ever bein’ with him alone.”—The Watchman when he w Examiner, The Shady Sort —“If you hire the right kind of lawyer you can get out of this scrape.” “But how am I to know who is the right kind of lawyer?” “Pick out one who has a shabby office, though he could easily afford the best.” “What's the ide “A lawyer of that kind is apt to be very successful in handling the affairs of clients who get fussed when they see mahogany furniture, thick carpets and iers."—Birmingham Age Herald. comicbooks.com