Judge — February 28, 1920 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

that your mother trusts us so se! dom alone? Enowe me better than Puppet. you do, John.” Popular Songs (With apologies to W. S. Gilbert) I YOU want a receipt for that empty ban ity Imed on the world as a Popular Song, Take all you can find of cheap sentimentality Rattle it off to a raucous jing-jong. Perchance you aspire to that height of giddiness Attained by the song that is recking with “jazz,” Mayhap you prefer that particular silliness That “appeals to the heart "—and merits the raz, _~ In whichever field you may wish notoriety To various rules you will have to submit The first of these is, to exclude all variety From sentiments tri “popular hit Of your “home town” of your in Guinea screech to us drearily To “your old-fashioned Mother” warble most wearily— More asinility—plus imbecilit W 1 “damn” or a “hell” for a dash of virility” Six “carry-me-backs” and a score of “be trues,” And end with the vu I string of “to-vous.”” Insert all this mass of unchallenged vapidity t This striking appeal to the public’s stupidity Only ts And yo! Harvard uke care these few hints to observe Po} r Song is all Lamp ready to serve! omeback Dorothy! Mother —Shame on you The idea of letting a boy whom you've known only a weck, kiss you!) Why, when I was your ag girl was considered vulgar who would let a boy even hold her hand until he’d known her several months. Dau r (insouciantlys—And didn’t say once, mother, that it used to take you tw weeks to go from New York to Chicago? Vale Record you At the Game First Coed —Oh. T have a date with George Second Cord—Why all the joy stull? First—I just heard the coach say he was a fast man!""— Penn State Froth dear Slow Enough “Did Harold propose last night?’ “No, he’s like an hour glass.” “And how is that?” “The more time he gets, has.""—Lehigh Burr the less sand he With the Gloves “Do you know anything asked the instructor "TL rep The n UU show you.’ And he did.—Illinois Siren. about boxing?” His Guess “Why did Abou Ben Adhem’s name lead all the rest?” “T guess they must have arranged the names alphabetically." —Vale Record. What's Your Idea, Watson! “And when I kissed her, I smelled tobacco on her lips.” “You ject. to” kissing a woman who smokes?" “No, but she doesn’t: smoke.” —Dartmouth Jack o' Lantern Look Out for the College Wits Contest Number! O_many ndid con Wits Conte charac fe ard th re all the college Tell your fri Nestnrr—March 13, 28 Union To be called off “Tt ou jazz music “U've written a grand opera.” “Do you think it will be a success? ht to be. Practi Syracuse Ore A Modern Smithy Under the spreading chestnut tree The village smithy sits And waits — For the strike ot the Local blacksmith’s Notre Da That Girl She dances in the winter time, With dress extremely low, her if she’s But when I She calmly answers. * Hy all of it ange Peel. a Ju e cold, No.” Last summer I remember, Her dress was trimmed with fur, She doesn’t mind the heat or cold It’s all the same to her The Conscientious V Seene—City Waiter, fried sole. Second Patron mind you! Waiter (shouting in the one of them fresh sole, an’ Peel. Restaurant And hurry! Waiter, fried sole Naturally Penn State ter First’ Pa and fresh tube)—Two fried Tremendous crowd up at our chun night “No Awgwan, it was ‘ew minster?” burned down.” Nebraska comicbooks.com