Judge — February 28, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a J Knew Them—"I told you,” said the merchant, “to mark this box ‘Handle with care” What’s this gibberish you've serawled on it?” “That,” replied the college graduate, “is the Latin for ‘Handle with care.” “Huh! How do you expect a baggage man to understand that?” “He won't, and therefore he won't get mad and smash the box.”—Boston Transcript. Handicapped—" Didn't young Grab- coin go away to college last year?” “Yes. He went to Harvard.” “Fine institution.” “So it is, but young Grabeoin carried along a Japanese valet, a motor car and abulldog. He may have picked up a few crumbs of knowledge, but I doubt it.”- Birmingham Age- Herald Educational Caution- Why do you refuse to send your daughter to a cooking school? “Because I desire her to grow up to be a kind, helpful and courteous lady I don’t want her to be tempted to assume the arrogance characteristic of the modern cook.” —IWashington Star Stony-hearted Still found it! I don’t ygmation Wil 1 to life!—World eve will ever And Man About Town One V “LE Jet Bilfur have $10 this morning.” Um.” “Do you think I'll ever get it back?” “Well, Bilfur is a gullible sort of chap You might be able to sell him 100 shares of fake mining stock at 10 cents a share.” Birmingham Age- Herald. An Offender—“I suppose poor Mrs. Jabbs will be arrested under the Sunday law.” “Good gracious! What has she been doing?” “T understand some secret investigator got into her pantry and discovered that working.” —Baltimore het preserves we -Imerican Economical—WVife—The tailor said he couldn't make the gown for less than $125, so I told him to go ahead. Hub—Why in the world didn’t you consult me first? * Wife—1 didn’t want to spend a nickel telephoning, dear.— Boston Transcript. 19 \re you his son? enhagen) Oof!—* Do you believe that heat pro- duces anger?” asked Smith “Did you ever put the lighted end of your cigar in your mouth by mistake?” replied Jones.— Cincinnati Enquirer. Why Not?—“What are you working on?” You remember those old remedies advertised as good for man or beast?” “Ves.” “Lm working on an anti-fr ture, good for man or motor. ville Courier-Journal, Not At All Pleased—//e—So you went to see Hamlet. Do vou think he was mad? She—V'm afraid so; it was an awfully poor house.—Boston Transcript F Then It Happened!—“1 wonder if you could?” mused the Rummy, as he poured a little wood alcohol into his seltzer. “You wonder if you could what?” demanded the Barkeep, as he yanked a gun out of the drawer behind the bar. “Why, I wonder if you could call a love letter a writ of attachment?” replied the Rummy, as he headed for the door.—Cincinnati wirer.