Judge — February 28, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

sasy to Remember—* l’o})/ “Well, Junior—" I want you to help me with letter.” “All right.” “T get all mixed up in two words. Missile and missive.’ “T can easily straighten that out for “Good!” \ missive is the one that is sent be fore marriage.” —Voungstown Telegram Get a Funnel—* You Americans are queer people,” remarked the English visitor. “How's that, Lord Blessus?” “You speak of a swindler as a ‘confi- dence man."" “Well? “By jove, sir, you can’t put any confi- in the bally chap at all.”"—Bir- sham Age- Herald Verbal Dust—There is a certain long suffering father whose nerves sometimes give why under questions from his talka live eight-year-old son “Dad,” said the youngster, just as the old man settled down for a perusal of his newspaper, “Dad, am I ms “T think not,” responded the unhappy parent, “otherwise you would dry up once in a while.”"—Houston Post. te of dust?" He Eats, De moderne draak—De Woeker. ‘The Modern Dr Seats of the Mighty b Bore—Just got hold of a smart Got a chauffeur ‘lub Bore—One c The Bored—Where's Passing Show (Lon ere’s he yoing to sit?— “Don't you think a writer ought to avoid as far as possible the use long words? Unquestionably,” answered Mr. Pen wiggle. “He is likely to waste too much valuable time looking in the dictionary to see how to spell them.”—Mashington Star. Done at Leisure—!illie—Vaw, what ure hicroglyphics? P The things a man makes on a pad with a pencil while he is using the telephone, my son.—Cincinnati Inquirer Anyhow n—the profiteer.—De Notenkraker (Amsterdam). 16 No Slouch—“The lawyer for the de fense is a sharp fellow.” Do you think so?” “Yes. The moment he saw the ju getting interested in the fair plainti ankles he cut short his cross-examination and called for the next witness.”- Birmingham Age- Herald. Rattles Him, Too—"The average Jawyer fills me with admiration.” “In what way?” “On account of the confident way be examines a man on a subject he has barely heard of, when the man has made ita life study."—L Journal. rier- Rather Jocular—The judge made jokes, the witnesses looked weary, the counsel declaimed and cross-examined, the twelve good men and true twiddled theit thumbs, and the usher ’ushed when- ever necessary, Altogether, it was a model cour “Now, ma'am,” cried the cross-exam- ining K. C., “was the defendant's air when, as yeu allege, he promised to marry you, perfectly serious, or was it the contrary, jocular and full of lev law, “Ttwas all ruffled,” replied the plaintifi “with ‘im runnin’ ‘is ‘ands through it!” London Tit-Bits. Good Headwork—* That shifty pro- moter charged with violating the ‘blue sky’ law was promptly acquitted.” “He was guilty, too, but he escaped punishment because he was smart.” “In what particular?” “He hired the lawyer who wrote the law to defend him.”—Birmingham Age Herald. Rattle Brain—The witness for the defence was being cross-examined. In answer to a question put by counsel iastead of speaking, he nodded his head. Whereupon the Court stenographer, who was not looking at the witness, demanded: “Answer that questior The witness replied, “1 did answer it, 1 nodded my head. “Yes,” was the retort, “I heard it rattle, but could not tell whether it was up and down or from side to side.”’— London Tit-Bits. comicbooks.com