Judge — February 28, 1920 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Huxwas Pate Judgelets retary Revaen P. Sceicuer, Sec Joun A. Scercner, Pre. Persiros Maxwett E URN, ye Wets, to Luther Burbank, Wizard of Cali- fornia! Give him time for experimenting, and he may cross a lime witha sloe berry and produce over Nature’s bar a perfect gin rickey. Or, by means of a union of rye, sugar cane and a watermelon, a vine that blooms lushfully with old-fashioned cocktails, cased in a rind of rich green. eac The rapid emergence of presidential aspirants indi- cates that there are still eight or nine men who have faith in America’s ability to produce great leaders ec PROPOS of the Sims row, a Washington correspond- ent has discovered and announced that there “is much jealousy in the Navy.” Some day, some one is going to discover that there is much jealousy among Grand Opera gers ON*T take stock, says Mr. Bryan, in) the Darwinian theory that) man descended from monkeys This — state- ment should carry weight; Mr Bryan's career in politics en- titling him to speak almost from personal knowledge of things pre- historic We nc by continued struggle betwe ind the belabor I' ov long labor are faced a n Revenue officers have any sense of the beautiful, they will not crassly destroy. seize wines by pouring them in_ the gutter, but oblivion in will siphon them to befitting a manner their vintage. For example, by simple mechanical process, _ it should be possible to make “Old Faithful” in Yellowstone Park spout geysers of Sparkling Bur- gundy, gloriously red. Drawn by Ress Westor X-Ray beec turnin howi with ne ular F to A. Watpros, Litera ¢ United States. ry A. b Rottaver, Treasurer Grasr E. Hasuuron, drt Director Lawrox Mackatt, Managing Edito E ITHERTO, when seeking public office, a man to be successful had only to pass word that he once attended a “little red schoolhouse.” No mor Let him try it now, and folks will pointedly ask him just what he means by that “red” stuff—Karl Marx or Lenine? The main difficulty about trying the Kaiser will lie in finding enough men who have “read nothing about the case in the newspapers” to make up a jury . . . UIS GUYON, proprietor of the largest dance palace in Chicago, says that homely girls are better dancers than pretty We don’t see how the In most modern dances, a man holds his partner so close that he can’t tell what she looks like. LS ones face matters a If ever it becomes as hard to make war as it been for the Senate to make peace, the world will have progressed a long way toward the ideal state. UCCESS man’s head. that has no turning. turned many It’s a long head as Odd nobody else has thought of it, but the logical spot to which to deport our alien Bolshevists is Mars. It has long been known as the Red Planet. * A Te was no suc motion, but t began running * ne time it was thought there h thing as perpetual was before Bryan for the presidency. . * The most pitiable political pris- oner imaginable is a retiring Con- gressman who wants to go back to Washington, but whose constitu- ents won't let him. Ku hich pean ats Vourists re- may comicbooks.com