Judge — February 21, 1920 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

There are a lot of folks in these United States who will sympathize with this cun- ning youn ster’s desi a drink. This dimpled infant remind- “I Want a Drink! ing Mamma that it’s bottle time expresses an cmotion not uncom- mon in these days. It would be hard to resist the appeal this picture, one of the many noted ers that have appeared on JUDGE, “The Happy Medium.” Reproduced in full colors, mounte on a double mat, all ready for framin this appealing picture is yours for 25 cents, postage prepaid. JUDGE ART PRINT DEPARTMENT 225 Fifth Avenue New York City Our Town Usxere By In BARRONS, th’ village black smith and weather burer, sez th’ scas. sity of jail-bird pajammers on th’ cater pillers and th’ preponderunce of pink on th’ es of th’ field mice portend an open winter He sez that fellers who hev fooled away their summer's patrimony and expect t live on snow balls, will come out in th’ spring thinner'n a tom-cat’s tenor. Barney sez they fur on th’ hick’ry nut this year and wishbones ain't got no more snap than 1-2 of one per cent He sez th’ pigs’ tails is powerful curly with very little air holes fer th’ wind v’ whistle through “She'll be as open as a silk umbreller and as ARNEY 5 scassely no balmy as Floridy water after a shave in a lady ” sez Barney. “An open winter—at both ends —with plenty of batter in th? but'ry «hard cider barrel in th’ basement, peace on earth and an early spring.” barber shop: go Adolph Swanson, pronzietor Hotel guinea-pigs of a travelin’ man barn overflowed and Adolph went out in th A few weeks of th’ Courtright bought fifiy-twe Visterday th country with his Henery and got a load of posts ‘Tomorrow. if th’ weather continues cold, he will crank up and go after th’ post holes Dick Peacock busted the wishbone of his jitney last Sunday Croton road. He bought a new bone off’ Chet Hendrickson ter a dime, but he’s quit takin’ orders on Sunday, Only a week ago him and Fred Herrod, th’ magneto expert, took Henery fer a hunt on th’ Sabbath and she ruptured herself internally, causin’ Dick to buy two gears and a whangdoodle fer her Ever since Elder Truman bruk his while mowin’ snow on th stomach esophy And a new set * Very well, my “Henry Smith! If you don’t pa to me I'll burn that 1907 Buick and tuk U drivin’ a Ford, the Hen cries of this town hey got so much religion they won't do no work on Sunday without throwin’ a fit eo. . Harry Sawyer tried ' bribe us to write him up in this here column this week. Th’ time hez gone by fer that. Tf Harry had of mentioned it th’ day he got them hornets in his pants and wuz chased by our bull dog while tryin’ U run hisself outen sed pants, we should have done but now we can’t think of anything U' say hez discovered “d's th same thing my grandmother's sister's child died of. She was visitin’ at my grandfather's down im Vermont and grandfather he had a leg where a army mule hed kicked him on his pistol pocket one Fourth of July evening, * just Sam Bonner, th’ th’ origin of intlooenzy pustmaster Sam sez wooden the sun went down.’ Gran‘dad’s peg leg was beautifully timbered but it had a knot hole in it That night he tuk it off and sot it ag’nst the melodeon in th’ parlor. Grandmother's child—a frail, flower like thir bath and went t° bed on th he was ka hair sofer Along about midnight th’ wi up in th cer bush and blew like a little German band out of sausages and beer: that th’ suger bush was right in line with th keyhole in grandfather's parlor door, and the knothole in grandfather's wooden leg was di rectly in line with that and—unfortunately— grandmothcr’s sister’s child, asleep on th’ sofer, was contiguously adjacent to th’ keyhole with all her pores open. Th’ terribul suction frum th’ suger bush through th’ keyhole of grand- father’s parlor door and from the keyhole a ow it happened | CON the bridle path of in the business office—the first slight sign of a husky throat meets effective resis- tance from Dean's Mentho- lated Cough Drops. Have @ box on hand—indoor or out! Get them anywhere. Dean Medicine Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin MENTHOLATED - CoucHDrops through the knothole in grandfather's wooden Jeg and frum that into th’ cuticule orifices of th* tender child asleep on th’ hoss-hair soter, set up a malignant irritation that hez started th’ hull world ' wipin’ sap—and we flooenzy have ine We once knew a feller who thought he wuz th’ village cut-up and he asked th’ local doctor what was good for tom-cats anyhow and th’ doc sent him a bill fer $2, If it’ wasn't fer recallin’ this incident, we would be tempted U Winstead what can we dot keep our ¢ {rem snorin’ out loud all night? Last night we got up three times U turn him over tryin’ find some comfortabler position, but th’ durned pup is gittin’ worse under th’ treat ment. We hev figgered out that bein’ away visitin’ her ma, th? dog is lonesome and takes this method of gittin’ almost human th? missus companionship 24 ra a" > e Ss Kelere Velng Marvel alter Uslog Marvel MARVEL, 23 Second Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa. ® Cuticura Heals MA Itching Burning 4 Skin Troubles All druggists: Soap 23, Ointment 2 and $). Taleum 23, Sample each tree of “Cuticare, Dept. B, Reston.” comicbooks.com