Judge — February 14, 1920 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

We will pay $1 cach for acceptable “ Bad Breaks” which may be clipped from newspapers, magazines or books. amusing error of the types or a funny expression, JUDGE will pay $5. must be sent in to show the bona fide nature of the “ break.” inclosed, and no material previously published as “Bad Breaks” is desired by JUDGE. considered for publication. We beg the patience of our readers whose “ Bad Breaks” have been accepted for publication. For the most The original clipping, with its source indicated in each instance, No rejected “Bad Breaks” will be returned to senders unless postage is “Bad Breaks” in advertisements will not be We have some 5,000 paragraphs on hand and can print but a few of these each week. The editor of “Bad Breaks” cannot enter into correspondence with contributors. the range of this department. determines their acceptance, and payment is made accordingly. Perhaps Eva Has Whiskers?—A pound of flesh was taken off in two in- cisions. Eva's EXTRA CHINS were also TRimmED. The scars are covered by her WEALTH OF HAIR.—Pholoplay Magazine. A Slip of the Ton—Omer Elie, local butcher, is recovering from a broken finger which he sustained several days ago. While lifting a heavy carcass of beef weighing NINETEEN HUNDRED pownDs his foot slipped and in falling he broke his thumb.—Ogdensburg (N. Y.) News. News from “The Other Shore’’— “Brothers, if you don’t see your death notices in The Telegrapher, don’t blame me, blame yourself for not dropping me a line telling me about it. I am no mind reader.” — Railroad Telegrapher Magazine. No Empty Shell—Mrs. Inhoff, of Donnally Mills, the mother of Mrs. Scott Heckendorn of this place was destroyed by fire Sunday night. The CONTENTS were nearly all saved.—Dun- cannon (Pa.) Record. Entombed ?—Once when a small boy living with his LONG-DEAD FATHER AND MOTHER down on Pine Street he had com- mitted some act of disobedience—Red Book Magazine. Up-to-Date Canonicals—The Rev. Father Henry Happle, who wore a peach color silk pongee with leghom hat and carried red roses.—Albany (N. Y.) Journal. Such Playful Young Things— “Does Hamlin know anything about the lob—” Sid coughed long and loud, as Herbert kicked him under the table.— Elgin (I.) Boys’ World. S. P. C. P.—The child had been kept a prisoner all her life by her parents in an upper room ef a Brooklyn tenement, and was rescued yesterday by agents of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children AND THE POLICE.—AWentown (Pa.) Item. Lizzie Was a Bird—With such an in- tention he walked into the room one noon, when Elizabeth was hanging in the golden bird cage in the window.—Commercial High School Ledger. “My Honolulu Prince’—W. J. Easton, chairman of the school was beau- tifully decorated with flowers.—Chatham (Can.) Planet. His Wicked Wish—Mr. Sheldon ad- dressed the annual foremen’s and over- seers’ banquet last night. The treasurer of one of our largest companies said that he wished that every one of his company and employees could NEVER hear the talk.—Genera (N. Y.) Times. Where the Lesser Includes the Greater—If you take more gasoline out of the tank than you put in, the tank will run dry and the car will stop —Canadian Ford Service Bulletin. A Sex Story—Max Saphir, 2361 Val- entine Avenue, Bronx, was taken to New York Hospital, with a PAIN IN THE BACK, from 38 West 21st Street, where SHE was employed.—Greenwich Village (N. Y.) Home News. Festooning the Bath—The dining- room, where supper was served at 11, was gay with Christmas greens and cut flowers, while the swrmanc POOL, where the guests enjoyed breakfast, WAS LINED WITH EVERGREENS.— Denver (Colo.) Times. 2 It is obvious that only mirth-provoking paragraphs can be published. Mere typographical mishaps do not come within Many duplicates of acceptable material have been received. Priority of receipt, as shown by the postmark, Cheques for successful contributions are mailed on acceptance. Done—Mr. and Mrs. Bom Hemphill’s children are doing nicely, they are down with scarlet fever.—Capitol Hill (Okla.) News. Marry and Stay Young—At twenty- eight he married. Later on, AT THE SAME AGE, he resolved never to marry again.— Parisienne Magazine. A Hang-Over—And she looks up at a painting of a puffy woman with cow EYES THAT HUNG OVER THE DRESSING TABLE and musta been a old master it was so ugly.—Saturday Ezening Post. On the Cob—The unlatched door swung open and standing there half afraid, half joyous, the ears of com tightly clasped in her arms, stood a girl, black haired, red lipped, black eyed. Her cheeks glistened with EARS of homesick- ness and surprise.—Boston (Mass.) Post. Minor Calamities—Well, Xmas passed off very nice excepting one wed- ding and several dances for the young people.—Dahlonega (Ga.) Echo. A Darktown Solon—He wore a dark brown suit, dark overcoat and hat on the day of the robbery, and carried a light- colored cane and a BLACK LAWYER'S brief bag.—Chicago Herald & Examiner. Looking After the Lost Ones—Wil- liam Amer, who has been re-elected, will continue to issue MARRIAGE licenses and will sce that the wishes of the DECEASED are fulfilled.—Lehighton (Pa.) Leader. A Flivver from the White House— Governor-elect Edwards replied by letter to the President. He asked the Nation’s Chief Executive to accept his thanks for the kind rorps expressed in the telegram. —Hoboken (N. J.) Hudson Observer.