Judge — February 14, 1920 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Den Artiga Kusken—Om inte alltihop gar in i cagnen sa kan jag ta lite pa kuskbocken. . Taxi Driver—If you can’t get all of you into the taxi I can put some on the seat beside me.— Kasper (Stockholm Identified—It was a dark night and the car was speeding homeward at a terrible rate. “What road have you taken, James?” cried Mrs. Blithers, as the car jolted her high in the air. “The regular boulevard, Mrs. Blith- ers,” returned the chauffeur. “But I never noticed all these thank- you-marms on the boulevard before,” protested Mrs. Blithers. - “Oh,” laughed the chauffeur, ‘those were not thank-you-marms, Mrs. Blith- ers! They were just a few people who cpuldn’t get out of the way.” Whereupon Mrs. Blithers laughed, too. What a droll mistake it was, tobe sure!— Pittsburg Sun. Trouble Ahead—“Doesn’t that an- noy you?” asked the visitor, as Mr. Cob- bles carefully turned his flivver to one side of the road and let a big car whirl past in a cloud of dust. “Nope, it don’t bother me none to speak of,” answered Mr. Cobbles, with a chuckle. “There’s a ramshackle bridge down th’ road a piece. I know all about it, but th’ feller in that car don’t know about it an’ he’s liable to be singin’ mighty small when we get to him.’’— Birmingham Age- Herald. Merely a Reminder—“Five years ago you promised to buy me a car,” said Mrs. Gadspur. “So I did, my dear,” replied Mr. Gad- spur, as he flicked the ashes from a twenty-five-cent cigar. “And I intend— ahem—to keep my promise.” “T don’t wish to hurry you, but don’t wait until the only vehicle I can ride in is a wheel-chair.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. 20 But He Never Will—“ My husband always leaves his business at the office.” “Mine does, too. If he’d only do one other thing he'd be perfect.” “What is that?” “Leave his golf on the links.”—Boston Transcript. He Knew Him—“ What do you mean, young man,” asked the merchant of the boy, “by counting your change so care- fully? Are you afraid that I would cheat you?” “I don’t know,” replied the boy. “I’m just making sure that you won’t. L used to caddie for you at the golf club.” —Detroit Free Press. Something to Look Forward to— Dubb Golfer—The day I get round these links in less than a hundred I'll give you a dollar. . Caddie—Thank ye, sir. It’ll come in handy in me old age.—Boston Transcript. Luck—‘ Swinson had wonderful luck at golf yesterday.” “Did some fast playing, eh?” “No, his playing was rotten, but he found a nest of eighteen perfectly good eggs some farmer’s hen had hidden in the grass.” —Wichita Eagle. The Retort Obvious ” Newly-Elected—Mr. Poorbar, 1 presume? —S, Old-Establisked—You do!- tin, ydney Bulle