Judge — February 14, 1920 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Codicil to the Marriage Certificate ry vr “Your wife evidently has a will of her own, old chap.” “Yes; and I am the sole beneficiary.” —Blighty (London). And Nothing More—‘“Scribson is dashing off another novel.” “How long does it take him to write a novel?” “About six weeks.” “Good heavens! And what does he put into it?” “About 60,000 words.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. Had Not Made a Choice—They had just completed the fifth dance—three couples and some thirty-odd girls—and they had strolled out to the balcony to rest. He, just out of high school, and she, out of high school, also. “So,” he said, beginning the conversa- tion, “you are from Indiana?” “You're mighty right,” she answered, “ Hoosier girl.” He stuttered and stammered. “Why —er—really——”” he said, “that is, I don’t know—I mean I haven't decided yet, who.”—IJndianapolis News. Looking for Him—“ Where's that in- fernal proofreader?” shouted an irate man with blood in each eye. “He certainly would be right hard to find now,” said the editor uneasily. “What’s he done this time?” “In that advertisement for my valve- less motor he turned the second v into a u!"—Philadelphia North American. Affection—‘Bliggins loves his work.’’ “Yes,” replied Mr. Growcher; “but chiefly as a topic of conversation.”— ~ Washington Star. Phonetical—James Lawlor says there once was a fellow who said to his friend: “T’'ll bet you $10 that Lake Michigan is Superior to Lake Ontario.” And the friend, being a good sport, though poorly versed in geography, replied: “Huron.”—Grand Rapids News. Her Doilar—A benevolent old lady in one of the streets which still retain the red-brick houses of old-time New York, looked out of her parlor window the other day and saw a man walking along the sidewalk, apparently in great dejection. There was something so pathetic and appealing in his manner that she took a dollar bill, put it in an envelope, and wrote on the envelope, “ Never Say Die!” She slipped out of the house in the most casual manner and- handed the envelope to the man as they passed. Next day the melancholy man called at her house and presented her with $10. “It’s funny,” he said; “you're the only one that backed that horse called Never Say Die.”— New York Evening Post. Good Reason—“Why did you give that tramp the dime?” “For not telling me a hard-luck story.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. An Illustration—First Tramp (read- ing)—Dis guy says dat an epigram is a short sentence dat sounds light but gives yer plenty to t’ink about. Second Tramp—Den I s’pose de judge’s “ten days” is one, ain’t it?— Boston Transcript. Cruelty to Animals - “Dites-moi, Baptiste, qu'est-ce que c'est que cet orchestre? On ne va pas danser, j imagine?” Dite: “Oh! non, monsicur! C'est Monsieur pour les remplacer, le jass-band de P Apollo.” i, trouant les rabbatteurs trop vieux jeu, a fait venir, “Tell me, Baptiste, what’s the idea of the orchestra? I thought this was a hunting party, not a dance.” “It’s this way, sir: Mr. Highfiyer thought that beaters-up were a bit out of date, so he’s had the syncopated orchestra game in.”—Le Rire (Paris). rom one of the cabarets in town brought out here to drive the