Judge — February 14, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Heawax Patuen Digest of the World’s Humor With Limitations—“Are you an optimist?” “Tam. Aren’t you?” “Yes. But just the same I’ve gotten over my cheerful confidence that stocks are going to prosper and go up every time I play them.”—Washington Star. A Mystery—“ Why do people call it a merry-go-round?” “I could never figure out. Most of the people on it look anxious and kind of scared.” — Kansas City Journal. Accommodating—“I am in a great hurry,” said the bald-headed man as he climbed into the barber’s chair. “Can you cut my hair if I leave my collar on?® “Sure,” replied the barber, as he glanced at the shiny dome; “even if you leave your hat on.”—Portland Express, Beyond the Limit—“There can be too much of a good thing.” “That’s right,” commented Cactus Joc. “I was once in a poker game where somebody discovered that there were five aces in circulation.” —Washington Star. Tactless—“So Miss Jones is angry with her doctor. Why is that?” “He tactlessly remarked that he would soon have her looking her old self again.” —London Tit-Bits. The Premier—“I presume the violin is the most important instrument in an orchestra.” “It was until the jazz came in. Now it’s the cowbell.” —Louisville Courier- Journal. Ata Rapid Curate Tue Pitcria’s Procress—Blighty (London). Then It Happened!—“I wonder if you could?” mused the Rummy, as he gazed into the mirror back of the old bar. “You wonder if I could what?” de- manded the idle Barkeep, as he grabbed a hatchet that was on the floor. “Why, I wonder if you could say that call money is the coin you use to pay your telephone bill?” replied the Rummy, as he headed for the door.—Cincinnati Enquirer. An Awful Possibility — Struggling Artist—Ah! yes; I am wedded to my Art. Funny Friend—Well, mind you don’t get a divorce, old man. They might give you the custody of the pictures!—Pass- ing Show (London). 15 Just Good Enough for the Editors —A good old scout living north of town came in Saturday and handed us a dollar for his subscription. “Take it,” he said, “T can’t buy anything with it any more.” —Siloam Springs Herald. Good Logic—If you don’t get your paper, it is not our fault; we tried our best to get you to pay up, and we just can’t do any more ‘than that—you wouldn’t for a minute submit to our go- ing into your pockets and taking out the price of the subscription, now would you?—Royston Ga.) Record. Sure of One Thing—‘ The editor does not know whether the high cost of living is justified or not, or whether prices are going to fall or to go higher, but we know one thing dern sure: We've got enough clothes to pull through the winter with, but if the price ain’t down on wearing apparel by spring we are going back to the fig leaf and wooden shoes.”—Baxter Ga.) Bulletin. Coughed Up Cheerfully — lowa Paper—After refreshments had been served the happy assembly disbursed.— Boston Transcript. Another Circulation War—The Toadvine Clarion claims to have 400 more subscribers than the Eagle.” “My! What’s the Eagle going to do about it?” “The conventional thing in such cases. The veracity of the Clarion will be ques- tioned in 72-point type.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. Se ee en SHR TRI ETS