Judge — February 7, 1920 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hottentot Housekeeping Les conserces sont hors de prix!” “Dire qu'autrefois om se plaignait ¢ “Delicacies are simply out of sight! ed to complain when we had to pay’ fi ¢ (Paris) That poverty is not a crime, The wise men tell us, oh, my reighbor, But you can bet your bottom dime Phat it is punished by hard labor Cincinnati Enquirer Allurement met in convention, the learned! physicians, They voted the cave-girl a winner, bear; They quoted big volumes and wise sta tisticians To show how the strong girl was cer tainly there; They said: “That's the life For a mother and wife: The new gitl is simply a fresh type of old girl, lhe husky and hefty, athletic girl; The cave-girl The brave-girl The kind that can put a wild tiger to rout She’s the lady the men are most ct about.” They und bold Philadel phia Ledger. Philosophers Behold the cheery centipede; Of boots and shoes it has no need With blitkesome heart it onward gues It’s hard to stub five hundred toes. Lampoon And gaze at yonder porcupine Now, as to points, you bet he’s fine; Id have you know he thinks he's slick He makes the fourteen points look sick. Yonkers Statesman The anaconda you can bet, Is never known to idly fret \bout the latest styles in slips. It knows no worries such as hips Youngstown Telegram. Observe the gentle octopus. Who never howls or makes a fuss; Eight feet he has, but pain he scorns Sea-water is a cure for corns! —Cleveland Plain Dealer Observe the placid polar bear Who wears a coat of thickest hair And no doubt thinks it very nice When sitting on a cake of ice. Birmingham Age-Herald. Observe the pole rom afar! In solitude he is a czar; Who knows the music of his purr? Yet, later, women wear his fur! 20 Some Close Races Dr. George W Douglas brings back from the Colgate commencement this story: An Englishman, Scotchman and Irish man were indulging in reminiscences of sporting occasions. The closest race 1 ever saw ht race.” deposed the Englishman, “in which one of the boats that had been recently painted won by the breadth of the coat of paint.” “ The closest race | ever saw,” declared the Scotchman, “was one in which a horse, stung by a bee, won by the eighth of the swelling on his nose.” “The closest race Lever saw,” said the Irishman, “is the Scotch.’ — Philadel phia Ledger Was a To Him Who Hath—Tender, want a dime to give to a lame man. Mother—You shall have it!) And who is the lame man? Tenderfoot—Oh, he’s the doorkeeper at . Louis Republic the movies.— Largess. petite ooiture que tu m'as promise? . tell me once and for all, are ing to’ buy me that runabout’ you promised me?” “Better than that, I'll get truck." —L Rire (Paris) payer la a you five-ton comicbooks.com