Judge — January 24, 1920 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The New Diplomacy Le monsieur qui veut acheter cingt-cing kilos d'anthracit How to ask your dealer for a scuttle of coal ON THEFARM Learning a Dangerous Lesson— “ Make hay while the sun shines,” quoted the joyous philosopher. “Tt nds like good advice, Farmer Corntossel; “but scarcity, they tell me, is the cause of high prices. Did it ever occur to you that the more hay you make the lower the price you're liable to get for it?”’—Washington Star ” replied Told No Lie Country Boarder—You wrote that you were never bothered by mosquitoes here and they have almost eaten me alive. Farmer—1 didn’t say anything about ‘em botherin’ you, did I? I said they never bother me, an’ they don't; I'm used to 'em.—Boston Transcript. -Le Pile Mél A Peace Maneuver “You always he phonograph during mea's.” replied Farmer Corntossel. “Taint that we care for the music, but we want to do everything possibl keep the summer boarders from tal about the league of nations.” — I ashing- ton Star Partly Correct —Mrs. Bacon —This paper says that Kansas this year will reap four crops of alfalfa Mr. Bacon—I shouldn't be surprised “But, what is alfalfa?” “Why alfalfa is—why, it’s a a sort of a breakfast food for cows.” Yonkers Statesman. well, it’s The Modern Rube— found out what a rube is. “Thet so, Hiram? What is it?” “Why, it’s one o’ them 41-hour, $95 a week labor guys that thinks a farmer is goin’ to sell him food cheap.”— New York World. The Doctor's Error—Doctor—It is a little difficult to diagnose your case. Perhaps you have been eating toc much. Patient—Impossible. run on the European Gazlte. This plan. hotel is Hotel Conscientious— Housekee per—1 _ or- dered a dozen eggs today, Mr. Tight fist, and you only sent me eleven. Grocer—Well, ma'am, you see, the twelfth egg was bad, and I didn’t think you'd want it.—Wichita Eagle Caught with the Goods—“I thought you said you would die before you would pay such prices for groceries.” \Vell—er—maybe I did,” stammered the harassed consumer with a market basket on his arm, “but I didn’t say I'd dic of starvation, did 1? There are dozens of ways I can end my mi without prolonged suffering ham Age- Herald —Birming- Tough—Binks—The under crust to that chicken pie you brought me was abominably tough. Waiter—There wasn’t any under crust to that pie, sir; it was served on a paper plate and you've eaten it.— Houston Post. Jokn Bull—You're not quite the angel thought you were a year ago.—World (Lon- mn). comicbooks.com