Judge — January 10, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What You Can Do With the Old Car n't Scrap the Old Bus AUTOS >) To the Point—* Did anybody com- on the way you handled your new One man made a brief remark, ‘ Fifty dollars and costs.’"—Boston Transcript Nothing But Trouble—* Ever have any trouble with your automobile. “Yes. Ever since I got it, all my wife relatives expect me to be their chauffeur.” Detroit Free Press. He Explains—* You seem to be study- ing motor mechanism.” “Going to buy a car?” ‘Oh, no. But you gotta understand auto parts if you're gonna write modern literachoor.”’. isville Courier-Journal. Use it in the House.—The Byst (London). “Over the Hill’—* This car of yours will land me in the poorhouse.”” “Well, it's a good thing I picked out a hill-climber, hubby St. Louis Repub lican Iconoclasm—"So you are just back from England?” “Yes, and terribly disappointed.” “What happened?” “T have always thought England a romantic country and none of its sports more picturesque than fox hunting.” “Well?” “T saw an English squire following his pack in a flivver.”—Biricingham Age- Herald. Got off with a telegraph pole round. “TL think my collarbone is broken,” he said to the policeman who bent over him. “Tf that’s all, yer in luck,” growled the officer. “Shure, ‘twas breakneck speed ye was goin’ at Boston Transcript. sy—His car had collided A crowd gathered 16 Why She Is a Bolshevik— Many of my friends ask why I believe in Bolshev ism. Iwill tell you why. Because it isn’t right that John D. Rockefeller chew all the gum he wants, wear silk socks every day, have all his teeth gold if he wants, when I have to count every penny. Why, this profiteering is awful. Thad for lunch today only one pickle, a cup of coffce and cream, orange and a loganberry sundae and it cost me 55 cents. Now [hear they are going to have au- tomatic telephones, and I suppose I'll lose my job as a telephone girl just when I had got a voice with a smile, held the record in our office of only 83 wrong num- day, and could say three sorit Tama high bers in « sounded just like a tree toad. school product and splendidly educated. —Mue Zalinsky, in New Vork Times Nothing in a Name—* Are you still a member of the ‘Don’t Worry Club’ that was organized years ago?” “Ves. And there's something more to worry about. I must be terribly in arrears in my dues.""—Washington Star, A Poor Vocation—“ You never hear of green goods men any more.” “No,” replied Farmer Corntassel; “compared to the casy money getters nowadays those old green goods men worked) mighty hard besides takin’ big chances.”"—Washington Star. The Base Varlet jovernment “You are the support of the Notenkraker and so shall you ever be.""—De (Amsterdam). comicbooks.com