Judge — January 10, 1920 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MAN PALMER A Poor Spirit—Senator Borah was discussing one of the German counter- propositions. “The spirit of the thing,” he said, “ re- minds me of old man Green. “Old man Green’s house was overrun with rats and he hired a rat-catcher for $2 to clean the rodents out. “The rat-catcher worked like a Tro- jan. He killed a whole packing case of rats. Then he said to the old man “ “There you are, Mr. Green. My job You'll have no more trouble nd you needn't bother about dead ones, neither. ll cart is done. with rats, these he: ‘em away myself.’ “*How much do I owe you, friend?” old man Green fwo simoleons, like what you agreed on, boss.” Then the old man pointed at the e packing case and said in a protest- ice: Don’t I get nothing for all them rats?’ "—Philadel phia Record. The Age of Wisdom—He—O'd Grogsby told me today that he sincerely regretted his misspent youth. She—I'm delighted to hear that he’s repented at last. —Columbia (S. C.) State. Chopping Him Off—* You have had your say, Mr. Gloom. Now, I con- tend—" “Lam no more interested in the other side of an argument than I am in hear- ing both sides of a bass drum. Good day!""— Kansas City Star. Digest of the World’s Humor Well Trained Force or Harr —The Tatler (London). No Use—“ Isn't that man rather slam ming your nation and your principles? Why don’t you talk back to him?” “What's the use? He's deaf, and even if he could hear, he wouldn't listen.”’— Pitesburgh Leader. The Value of Time—The retired colonel was fishing in a quict stream, when there approached a yokel, who re- marked with a yawn: “Time ain’t very valuable to you, is it? Here I’ve bin a-watchin’ you three hours an’ you ain’t had even a bite.” “Well,” drawled the fisherman, “my time's too valuable, anyhow, to waste three hours of it watching a man fish that isn’t getting even a bite.”— Houston Post. A Poser for Pa ,” said Willie, looking up from his picture book, “is a zebra a white animal with dark stripes or a dark animal with white stripes? ”— Boston Transcript. Higher Education—A modern child is one who doesn’t believe that it’s so un- less he’s seen it in the “movies."—Chi- cago Tribune. Meticulous Logic—The ball had gone over the railings, as balls will in suburban gardens, and a small, but unabashed batsman appeared at the front door to ask for it. Then appeared an irate father: ‘* How dare you show yourself at my house? How dare you ask for your ball? Do you know you nearly killed one of my children with it?” “But you've got ten children,” the logical lad, “and I’ve only baseball." — Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele- graph. Just Like a Kid—Part of the peace celebration was a shooting match for lads under seventeen. Although the judge had his doubts about some of the com- petitors, he held his peace. The prize finally lay between two marksmen and the excitement became intense. A small boy of ten or so, who had crowded close up to the barrier, suddenly called out to one of the competitors: “Good shot, dad! A few more of those, and you'll get the prize!”— Pitts- burgh Press.