Judge — December 27, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Accent on the “De"—"J. UL HL” is a humorist whose initials are better known than his own name and address On an automobile trip recently Mr. and Mrs. J. U. H. were obliged to ride many miles out of their way on account of road improvements which were being made at many points. While they were wobbling up an un- usually bad piece of dirt road one after- noon they were accosted by a native who hailed them with the inquiry: “Touring?” With equal brevity J. U. H. replied: », de-touring.”—Voungstown Tele- gram. The Communicative Swede—\ young Swede called on Dan Meyers, the manager of the Altamont Hotel, at Ft Thomas, Ky., and wanted a job working around the grounds. “What do you do?” asked Dan “Ven?” asked the Swede. “When you work, of course,” replied Dan. “Vy, Lvork.” “Tknow you work. work las! “In a vactory “What kind of a factory?” “A brick vactory.” “Did you make bricks?” “No, the vactory was bricks.” “What did But where did you made of you make in that fac- ven dollars a veek.”” no. What did the make?" “Goods.” “What kind of goods?” “Good goods.” “What kind of good goods?” “The best.” “The best of what?” “The best there is.” “The best there is of what?” “Of dose goods.” “Good-night!” said Dan.—Cincinnati Enquirer. ict A Professional Attitude—“ Aren't you in favor of spelling reform?” ‘ot at all,” answered the young at the typewriter. “Many a man would be writing his own letters if he knew how to spell all the difficult words.” —Detroit Free Press. On Approval Correct Information— ‘My boy, 1 learn that you did practically no studying at college. You cut your classes, played more poker than was good for you and ran around with chorus girls “What do you mean, sir?” “Why, dad, I didn’t think it of you! You've been corresponding with the dean.” —Birmingham Age- Herald Business and Scholarship—“ Do Can you take back the ¢ ay you think a college education helps a man nt here t ? in business?” “Not right away,” answered Mr, Dus- tin Stax. “But after a man gets rich enough to indulge in litigation, school training will help a great deal in answer- ing the lawyer's questions.” —Washington Star. 1 didn’t. Johnny Was Literal—Little Johnnie was discovered in the library, busily snipping away at the open dictionary. * Johnnie,” asked his father, “what in the world are you doing?” “You see, father,” answered the bright and shining light of the household, “to- day at school the teacher said there was no such word as ‘fail,’ and so I’m cutting it out of the dictionary.”’—St. Louis Globe- Democrat. Right Up to Date—“ Is this a strictly modern school for young women?” “ Judge for yourself.” “Well?” “Dancing, motoring, aviation and stump speaking are featured in the cur- Birmingham Age- Herald. riculum.”” Weighing the Possibilities Optimist—Well, if someone will come along and lend me a spare tire and five farmhouse for a bucket of water for the rad we can get home before dark!—World (London). comichoo!