Judge — December 27, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Couldn't new cook didn’t sta Exchange—“ Your long.” No,” said Mr. Twobble. “She ob- jected to living in a servant's house on the back of our lot.” “Dear me! that?” “It was quite impossible. vant's house is too small to as my family.”—Birmingham Couldn't you arrange The ommodate e- Herald. ser- You say How Mystery Solved—Mrs. A you kept a cook for a whole month. in the world did you manage it? Mrs. B—We were cruising on a house- boat and she couldn't swim.—Boston Transcript. In These Servantless Days—The head of one house where war conditions had left the place helpless drove his daughter to a party. The head of the house where the party was held was perforce acting as his own carriage man and door-opener. Afterward, when they were formally presented, one said “T certainly must beg your pardon for something, sir.” “What is it?” “You know that night when you drove your daughter to my daughter's party?” Yes.” “Well, when I came to open the I thought you were your chauffeur.” “Cheer up! I thought you were your butler!""—Farm Life, England. loor Chesterfields While You Wait Friendship—Henry Lass, wl been helping at the Salomon furniture store since the first of the year, has re- signed his work and is now busying him- self around his home. He was helping Mr. Schnoor merely as an accommoda- tion and not because he particularly cared to work.—Denison (la.) Review. A Definite Want—A good worker may secure a permanent job at good wages in lumber and coal business. No loafers need apply. It’s labor we wish to purchase, not company. Dacy Lumber Co.—Woodstock Sentinel. A Passing Doubt has What?—What has become of the old- fashioned nickel that would buy you: A cigar. A bottle of pop. A soda. A shine. A beer. \ street car ride. A sandwich. A movie show ticket. A pack of tobacco?—Cincinnati En- irer. Not a Life Saver—*'I asked the boss for an increase in salary. Told him I couldn't live on the sum I was getting.” “What did he say?” “Told me it was a business not a life saving institution he was running.” Detroit Free Press. Practical View of the Matter— “This lady of the chorus wants $100,000 damages from an elderly millionaire.” “A breach of promise suit, eh? “Yes. She says her heart is broken.” “Umph! It’s lucky for her that she doesn’t have to produce her heart in court as Exhibit A. I dare say it would be found in a good state of repair, with only a slight disfigurement caused by dollar marks."—Birmingham Age- Herald Just One Question—A wealthy mag- nate was delivering a lecture on thrift to his workpeople. He wound up his address with a few terse remarks, advising them to save while they were young; to avoid drink ambling; to keep out of debt; and, I, always to pay twenty shillings ¢ pound in their transactions. w,”’ he said, in corclusion, “if there is anyone who would like to ask a ques tion, I shall be pleased to answer it, if \ grimy lad at the back stood up. “There’s just one question I'd like to ask yer, guv’nor,” he said. “I'd like to know how a man is going to pay twenty shillings to the pound, when he’s nobbut but eighteen bob a week?"—London Tit-Bits. Marriage is a Lottery—JMrs. Dear horn—Did you ever win a prize in a lottery? Mrs. Wabash—Why, of course, I'm getting alimony.—Yonkers Statesman comichooks.coyn