Judge — December 20, 1919 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

For Coughs and Hoarseness Red Cross Cough Drops quickly relieve coughs and colds and take the tickle out of your throat. Speakers and Smokers depend upon them. Children love them. They are made of chemically pure ingredients Red Cross Cough Drops have been famous for 30 years. Millions are sold every season. It’s everybody's favorite. Get Red Cross Cough Drops at drug, candy and cigar stores. Handy box—packed full —six cents. Made by Candy Bros. Mfg. Co. it. Louis STAGE-STRUCK. Evidence By Waney Irvine Suumway Muriel loves me Hoy I know? \ gossipy daisy Has told me so. I love little Muriel How can I know? \ dog-eared check Has told me so. book em How Do You Go to Bed? Ry Jous Marree There are several methods 1—The Sulky Lion. He throws his paper on the floor and stalks out of the room to his lair o more that night; but if you chance you can hear him The Apple Fiend. At ten-thirty it brings in one large red apple, pares and quarters the victim, and devours it with a gnashing of teeth and eyes glowing with conscious virtue. Ten minutes later the fiend goes upstairs feeling well content with the world 3—The Debutante. She prefers to go to bed by the light of dawn, but occasionally in the winter she is forced to use artificial light. If ve era room and find a dress in a heap in the center of the floor, one pink silk stocking in corner, another p. s. s. in another corner, f rie hither and yon, it is a safeassump. tion that a debutante just gone to bed The Eldest Son. However, if at midnight meet someone in the hall tiptocing it is an equally safe or later you upstairs in stocking feet ussumption that the eldest son is about to go to bed. He will wink and put a forefinger to his lips and say If you say, “What?” he will hiss, “For heaven’s sake, keep still! Do you want to wake Mother?” 5-—-The Early B About nine o'clock it will begin to yawn and say, “Gee! wish I were in * If you reply, “Why don’t you go to be presently it will “Believe I shall!’ About 9:30 it arises from the most comfortable chair in the room, yawns. und speaks a picec S-s-s-h!” yawn and answer, Early to bed and early to rise Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” t ten it yawns and goes to bed and yawns 6—The Night Owl. This bird has several varieties—the prowler and the recluse. The prowler always has a latchkey in its pocket and hope in its heart. The recluse wears spectacles and has a book in its hand. Both waste a lot of time but help to keep the public utility com panies solvent The Baby. It takes one nurse, one father and one mother to put the baby to bed. He has to kiss everybody goodnight, he has to have a glass of water, he has to have all his toys in bed, he has to have the bathroom light on, he ore covers, he has to be rocked, he has to be told a story, he has to be sung a lullaby he has to be spanked. You can put him to bed, but all the nurses, fathers and mothers in the world can’t n S8—The Night Watchman. Has queer ideas Seldom goes to bed at night, has to have e baby to sleep of where to sleep. but will sleep standing up in his clothes and shoes. An example of what staying up late at night will eventually do to a human if carried © excess Sarcasm Furrier—Nes, sir; furs have increased in price. Mr. Jones animals so much more to live I suppose because it costs the 30 |REPUBLIC { AM TRE, 42nd Street W. of Iv ng S30. Mats, Wed. & mat. 2 A. H. WOODS PRESENTS A Voice in the Dark “Begins where all mystery plays end""—N. Y. Globe COHAN & HARRIS FEAT Sinus Wea a Ser Sto COHAN & HARRIS Present THE ROYAL VAGABOND “BREAKING ALL RECORDS" HIAPPY DAYS <i MATINEE AT EVERY DAY tHe HIPPODROME HAPPY PRICES. Seata § weeks abeat ELTING THEATRE. 42nd St., west of Broadway The Girl In The Limousine A.M. WOODS presents “100% FUNNIER THAN ‘FAIR AND WARMER’ A Dirge (Apologies to Wordsworth By F. Scort Frraceraut [1 by among the untrodden ways "Twas very small in size; \ bar whom there were none to praise And few to patronize. But when the drought had well beg One winked a wicked eye! Twas like a star when only onc Is shining in the sky! It served unknown and few could know The wink that fixed the tea But now nd, ob The difference to me: it too is close The magazine that puts you on speak- ing terms with your favorite star. For Sale at All News nds 15¢ a copy $1.50 a year Advertising Rates on Application LESLIE. JUDGE CO 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City comichooks.conp