Judge — December 13, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jack of All Trades—Although Presi- dent Emeritus Eliot of Harvard Uni- versity no longer takes an active part in the conduct of the institution he has en characterized as “Professor of Everything.” A man of his acquaintance overheard the following conversation of two rural folk at Bar Harbor a few ago: here goes Professor Eliot.” Who?” Professor Eliot of Harvard col- What's he professor of Well, I dunno, but I guess he’s pro- fessor the whole darn thing."— Detroit Free Press. No Proof There—Monroe Salis- bury, the movie player, has a_ citrus ch in the San Jacinto Valley of athern California, Between pictures it is his habit to motor to Hemet, the town nearest his jand, and drop in unexpectedly on the Indian family who live on the place and work in the groves. Upon the occasion of a recent visit Salisbury found his Indian overseer in angry altercation with a contractor whom Salisbury had hired to build an irrigation dam on the place. Salisbury took a small part in the conversation, and when he had finished the contractor said: “Guess you don't know much about waterfalls “Guess maybe I don’t,” admitted Salis- ‘although I was born in Buffalo, jagara is the chief point of in- nothing,” responded the con- tractor, “I was born in Pittsburgh, but I don't smoke."—Pittsburgh Chronicle- Telegraph. From Mr. Hohenzollern’s Memoirs “And Then There Was One” —Evening News (Lordow\ Tough for the Ultimate Consumer 8 B “Tu me mangeras, lion, mais je te ferai payer cherement ma vie!” “Mercanti!” “You will “Profiteer e (Paris). Absalom's Alias—Lady Duff Gor- don was talking about the 1919 ball gown, “The V in the bac she said, actually open now clear down to the waist. It 1s a shocking gown, as shock- ing as little Winnie's text. Vinnie’s papa said to her one Sun- day at luncheon: Vinnie, dear, what was the parson’s text this morning?’ h, papa,’ said shocked look, ‘it was “Abdomen, Ab- domen, my son Abdomen!’ Free Press. g A Flaw in the Story—A critic wa discussing John Singer Sargeant, th artist, with’ Chauncey Depew, and re- marked : “They s ay he painted a cobweb on a wv ion, but I'l make you pay dearly for my flesh!” ceiling once, and it was tural that the maid wore herself out trying fo brush it off, “What you say of the cobweb retorted Depew, any such maid, Chronicle-Telegraph. about the naturalness be perfectly true,” never was —Pittsburgh The Acid Test—The strange delay that marks the extradition of the ex- kaiser led Senator Owen to say at a Muskogee banquet: “I suppose it’s on account of Holland; Holland, you know, objects to our ex- tradition proceedings. “Strange,” he added, “that the country which fathered William of Orange should now mother William the Lemon.” —Baltimore American. Comicboo