Judge — November 22, 1919 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Rear Light —Mme. Nouvorich ma riviere de ¢ Mrs. Recent-Rox—How provokini naves pu avoir Was this seat in the alors il faut que ier rang. it row the only uil d'orchesire du thing you could get me? Then I shall have to switch my diamonds around to the back.—Le Péle Méle (Paris). LOUNG Eloquence Rather Than Elegance— A boy of eight was dining with his father at a hotel where the manners of the guests were not remarkable for their elegance. Soon after they had seated them- selves at the table, the youngster piped up with, “Daddy, why do all the men say ‘whoop’ to their soup?”—Harper's Magazine. Sick of Eggs—Abbie, the little girl of the family, was seated at the break- fast table one morning, As usua ss were serve Either she was not hungry, or she had grown tired of the bill of fare, for rnestly and soberly she’ re- do wish hens would lay something besides eggs."—Youth’s Companion. Forgot About the Birds—7e. What ts it fine feathers make, Tommie—I don't know, “Oh, yes, you do know. Fine feathers make fine” I really don’t know, ma‘am.” “Yes, you do, Tommie. It begins with the letter “Oh, yes, beds, Statesman. A Safe Reminder—T! delphia mother who is { knew it, but who is clever er discount this failing, as a rule. } long ago h i posed, and the cine to be given at th s “Did you give Tom his medicine regu- e husband and father asked upon his return ma’am!"—Yonkers d with satisfaction. low in the world did think of it?” the man ask “T didn’t; but it was easy 11.22.19 told Tom this morning at what hour he was to take the medicine, and half an hour before each time he began wailing that he didn’t want to take it. —Philadelphia Ledger. For Identification—Marked for Fu- ture Reference—"“Willie, I hear you've been hting with one of those boys next door and have given him a black Yes'm. You see, they's twins a wanted some way to tell them apart. Boston Transcript Dam!—"Where is the biggest dam in the world?” asked Willie. “I do not know where it is now, my replied Maw. ut it was in our cellar last night when your Paw dropped the only quart of whisky he had and broke it."—Cincinnati: Enquirer, Mary Hap -I can often tell where my has been by what he brings home. Irs. Shim uavenirs? No, h : any spoons or anything Then what do you mean?” “When he brought home a roach the other, day T knew he had been at the Uh hut “And when he brought home a grass- hopper in the cuff of his trousers I i deducted he had been in A circus is coming to town next week. Better keep him at home or he might bring you an elephant."—Youngstown Telegram. No Longer So—Mrs. Bridey (re- proachfully)—You used to say that you were intoxicated by my t Husband—Well, I'm drunkard.—Boston Transcript. ormed Seems Like Extravagance — Mrs. Styles—Is that a new silk hat you've got, Nicholas. Mr. § . my dear. “How much did it cost?” “Why, it was eight doll: , What! . Eight dollars, not a bird or a ribbon or a feather on it?" Yonkers S may His Retort—“Philip, I married me for money.” “Well, . I believe I earned it, don't you?”—Houston Post, think you Suspicious Circumstance—‘Henry, while we were calling on the Jihways [ saw Mr. Jibway make a peculiar sign to you and shortly afterward both of you hurriedly excused yourselves.” “Why—er—yes, my dear. John Jib- way wished me to step into the library where he had some old umes to show me. You know, I have a taste for books.” “Yes, Henry. I dare say your taste was highly ifi I heard a loud smacking then y aimed, That's the stu Birmingham Age-Herald. His Method—“T wonder why Jinks attributes all his success to his wife.” Oh, just to convince her that he is a success, I suppose."—Boston Transcript. Unneeded Facilities — Oscar—Why you have the telephone taken out bce? you consider anything a wvement which gives your nce to ask you for money business hours, after h your pockets the night be in Post,