Judge — November 15, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Both Disappointed Jones—This is—er—hardly what 1 ex pected from your advertisement. Lan —Well, you ain't what I 1s. from your letter. YESTERDAY yesterday the world was bright; The sun was flooding all with light, The sky was blue, the air was clear, It really seemed that Heaven was near! Such joy surrounded everyth! It made me want to laugh an It made me feel so bright and gay And glad—but that was yesterday ! And now the sky is dark and drear And Heaven seems no longer near! If I should sing 'twould be a rune Set to a doleful minor tune; joy has left me, and this life Seems but a time of toil and strife No longer does my heart feel gay— I had ten dollars ¢ Journal. MISSIONARY Behold the South Sea Islander! The pore, benighted brute, He _ hasn't got no telephones, No law courts, no dress suits; He sets around and sins and grins And lives on fish and fruit! He doesn’t pay for what he eats, He doesn't pay no rent; He doesn’t ever work or steal, Nor has nor needs a cent, And yet the dogg nds that h es just as garden gives him everythi ‘or which his tastes may He doesn’t fret about mankind And he’s never sick at all O, let me go and try to save That happy, sinful cuss! I'll teach the standards of our town And make him more like us. (Or maybe T'll let him save me— 1 guess IT nt do wuss!) —Chicago Occupation. sts the use help, ” for parlormaid: “Jenny general, “Scully” for scullery maid and so on. All very well, but suppose in the first case there were three parlor maids would it distinguish them “Palm,” “Palmer” and “Palmist”? Bright Kid—/ommy—Isn't “whole some” a funny word, father? Father—What's funny about it. Tommy—Why, take away the whol of it and you have some left—London Defined—"T'a, what's a skeptic?” A skeptic, my son, is a person whe doubts ything th you are sure of —Boston Transcript. How He Knew—"The wic in slippery. places. iow do you know they are wicked? the language they use when they —Boston Globe. Cold Calculation ohnny! What are you doing? ing to catch cold.” When Mamma kisses me, she'll he'll get it, and that will fix him for spank (Munich) when Dad kisses her, g me yesterday.”"—Fliegende Blactter