Judge — October 18, 1919 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

October 18, 1919 after marriage they rant about what they have. Recently furniture suffered a slight slip in conversational popularity which, however, it is destined soon to regain. Right now it isn’t so much what's in the house as what's buried in the cellar. But that is only between bonded friends. And it won't be very long before all the cellar will have in it will be the furnace, the coal scoop and the reel for the garden hose. During the latter years of a man’s life the need of furniture becomes more and more emphatic. The time he doesn't spend in bed he spends sitting around talking about going to bed. And when he’s on his last legs he howls for a wheel chair. As one ponders this subject of furniture one is appalled with the seriousness of the pos- sibilities. Suppose, for instance, that furniture had never been invented. Theorize, if you will, that every stick of furniture would be carted out tomorrow and destroyed. Hypothe- cate for a moment on such a situation! What would happen? Nothing to eat from and no place to put the feet. Nothing to talk about but the prohibitive price of molasses and noth- ing to bark the shins on in the dark. The babe would be without a cradle and home would have about the same sort of cozy allurements as a closed skating rink. Spinning the roller towel would be the only form of amusement Everyone would be on the same level and sleep- ing would produce callouses on the hips. And over and above all, more alarming and dis- heartening than anything else, there would be no place to hide an ace or park the used gum But there’s no cause for becoming frightened at such a prospect. Furniture is here to stay. Like the grape-arbor, corn-on-the-cob, blue gills, ink eradicators, fully paid and non-assess- able oil stock, blonde stenographers and Fords, it is with us for all time. It will never pass out as long as the world continues to revolve on its It will remain until the last great an- And in the next world, if that world is what we expect and an- ticipate, there will be plenty of tapestry daven- ports in the dark corners. Every one will start in the eternal life at the age of twenty-one with a good-looking girl. And it will always be 11 p, m. by the hall clock. Miscalled By D. J. Cuark I AM a private soldier, Just as private as can be; Every doctor in the army Knows each wart I have on me. I bathe with regiments of men, Clothed in the altogether; My_ modesty is like yon hill Exposed to stormy weather, My captain knows my history From the cradle up to date, And -that my wife's the skipper While I'm her second mate. So when they call me private, It’s enough to make me merry; For privacy I'm in the class Of my Aunt Jane’s canary. taxes. nual clearance sale is held. America’s First Need is Better Health By C. HOUSTON GOUDISS fasts Founder, The Forecast Scheal of Cookery, THE war showed that one-third of our young manhood is unfit for efficient fight- ing. " This means that more than one- third of our population is unfit for effici- ent working. For no arbitrary age- limits apply to workers. The records of the draft prove that this alarming inefficiency is due primarily to PREVENTABLE disease and physical defects. So this is the hand-writing on the wall of every home in the land: AMERICA MUST WAGE WAR FORHEALTH. We must do this because “health is the first wealth"; because victory without vigor is valueless; because physical defi- ciency leads to mental and moral decay. We must unitedly attack every stronghold of disease. For a long time we've been battling with tuberculosis and other com- municable plagues, and with a gratifying measure of success in some instances, Foad Director, The Mucher's Magasine, NOW WE MUST USE GENERAL SHIP OF THE HIGHEST ORDER, AND STRIKE AT THE MAJOR MENACE, THE CHIEF SOURCE OF NEARLY ALL SICKNESS — CONSTIPATION. Because of its commonness, Constipation is accepted as more or less a matter of course by many persons, Yet it is, in effect, the most devastating of all diseases, for by reducing the body's power of re- sistance, it opens the door to every foe that comes along. Constipation can be relieved by Nujol— a clear, tasteless, odorless, harmless, non-medical liquid which effects the re- quired relief without in any way affecting any body organ or interfering with any body function. Not a particle of Nujol remains in the body. And Nujol te- lieves Constipation and will prevent ite recurrence. So Nujol today is a nae tional need. W : Nujol is sold only in sealed bottles bearing the Nujol AIMINY > Te Maa a) doin here bencare of products represented to be “the same at Nujol”, You may suffer from substitutes, Nuj Ol x, Constipation REG. US. PAT. OFF. SICKNESS PREVENTION Nujol Laboratories, staxoarn oit Co. (NEW JERSEY), $0 Broadway, New York, Please send me at once the booklet marked— “THIRTY FEET OP DANGER” Constipation~aato-intoxication in adults “THE DAYS THAT GO BEFORE” Coestipatioa in pregnancy and warsing “AS THE TWIG 18 BENT” Constipation in infancy and ebildbood “WAGES OF NEGLECT’ Cocstipation as a cause of piles “AS THE SHADOWS LENGTHEN® Constipation Ia old age Name --. Address FOR MEADACHE ANO NEURALGIA a ANTI-KAMNIA (A TABLETS 1Oc & 25¢ PACKAGES. ASK FOR AK TABLETS HOTEL BINGHAM--Philadelphia im THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING ARGE, well lighted and comfortable rooms. cold rinning water In every room. Only hotel havi Street, Bubway and Elevated coanections with all rail- road station ferries and department sores. Roof Garden, Club Breakfast, 8 Rooms without bath, $1.50; with bath. FRANK KIMBLE, Manager, Tot and SUBSCRIPTION OFFICES: Main office—Brunswick Bullding. 225 Fifth Avenue, NEW YORK. © European agent: Wm eon & Sons, Lid. Cannon House, Breams’ Bide, London, Engiand. “Aniual cash subscription price, $5.00. 18 the United tates, Its dependencies, and Mexico. Provinces add $0 cents a year for postage: to all foreign countries add $1.00 a year Single copies of present year and 1918, 10 cents each: 1917, 20 cents each: 1916, 30 cents each. ete. Dereona' fhemarine a0 connected with JUDGE heuid atwave be eoked'ts porciers eran ADVERTISING OFF Brunswiek Bidg., New York: jenry Bide.. Walker Bidg., Boston; Marquette Bidg., Chicago: ‘CHANGE IN ADDRESS: Subseriber’s old address as well Seattle. ‘As the new must be sent in with request for (he change. Also Regarding Subscription and Editorial Matters pearing on the right hand alde of the address give the oumber ‘takes from ten days to two weeks to make ‘on the wrapper. achange EDITORIAL OFFICE: 225 Fitth Avenue. New York City. will be giad to coaider Jokes and uid alwaya be accompanied by post= age for thelr return if unaccepted. Copyrient, 1010, by Lestie-budee Company. Post fice ai New York as Hecobd-class Nt lished weekly by Leaile-Judge Company, 225 F New York. Jona A. sleleher, President.” Reuben P. Sieleber Secretary. A. E. Rotlauer, Treasurer. Printed by the Cuneo-Henneberry Co. ‘Address all correnpendonee to 225 Filth Avenue JUDGE Mew York City 3