Judge — October 18, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Unfortified—“ That man has a most agreeable personality and a very per- suasive address, yet he never seems to get anywhere.” “Yes,” replied Mr. Dustin Stax. “It’s a case of wonderful salesmanship, with nothing to sell.” —Washington Star. Enterprise—“An efficiency expert is without and wishes to see you.” “Ts he a real efficiency expert?” asked the captain of industry. “He must be. There wasn’t a vacant chair in the waiting room when he came in, but I hadn’t turned my back before he was seated and a fat man was stand- ing.” “Show him in.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. Always the Viewpoint—‘ You made me pay considerably more for this article than it is worth.” “Do you really think so?”” “TI do. Don’t you call that profiteer- ing?” “Not when I manage it. When I do anything like that I refer to it as ‘sales- manship.’ "—IWashington Star. His Answer—A furrier was selling a coat to a woman customer. “Yes, ma'am,” he said. ‘‘I guarantee this to be genuine skunk fur_that will wear for years.”” “But suppose I get it wet in tne rai asked the woman, “What effect will the water have on it? What will happen to it then? Won't it spoil?” “Madam,” answered the furrier, “I have only one answer: Did you ever hear of a skunk carrying an umbrella?”— London Tit-Bits. A Solemn Business—‘It is predicted that the new type of salesman will be a sort of ballyhoo man, who carries around a calliope and performing elephants.” “That wouldn’t suit my trade.” “What do you sell?” “Tombstones.” — Birmingham Herald. The Boss’s Advice—“ Now, remem- ber, I’m sending you out to sell a portable garage.” “That's what.” “Apd in talking this portable ga- Age- “Always pronounce garage the way prospective customer pronounces Cincinnati Enquirer. She Wanted Harmony Auntie—I do wish, Phyllis, you wouldn’t I'duets. ‘Why not try more interesting?—Blighty, London. uv DOCTORS § His Prescription—A prominent city man, who is as parsimonious as he is wealthy, is very fond of getting advice Meeting a well-known physician one day, he said to him: “Tam on my way home, doctor, and I feel very seedy and worn out generally; what ought I to take?” “Take a taxi,” came the curt reply.— London Tit-Bits. Couldn't See It—Fortune Teller (reading cards)—You have money com- i u, but no sickness whatever. —That’s singular! I’m the new doctor across the street—Boston Tran- script. Anything—“Doctor, I’ve just re- ceived your bill for the operation you performed on me. Would you cut any- thing off for cash?” “Yes, my dear sir, anything—an arm or a leg, or what else you may wish re- moved.” —Detroit Free Press. In Terms of Operations—“ Hand- some home Dr. Delver is putting up.” “So it is.” “1 wonder how great an outlay it rep- resents.” “At a rough guess, I should say no less than 50 appendixes and perhaps a tumorortwo,”—Birmingham A ge-Herald. Where the Credit Belonged—A man who had been very ill told.a pious friend that Dr. Jones had brought him through. “No,” said his friend, “ Providence brought you through, not the doctor.” “Well, maybe he did, but the doctor will charge for it.”—Doctor’s Leisure Hour,