Judge — October 11, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Es The Reason—Even that treasure, the antebellum darky servant, is not without flaw. A lady in southern Maryland was much aggrieved with Thaddeus, the old colored cook and handy-man, who had been with the fam ily since before the war, and whose hot biscuits were a source of as constant de light in the household as his habit of scratching his head was a source of con- stant distress. One afternoon, after serving luncheon to some “real quality fol his mistress asked him: “Thad, why do you scratch your head so much? You never stopped all during dinner.” “ Kase, Missy, I's de only one dat know whah mah haid itches,” was the reply.— Harper's Magazine. priceless How They Were Raised—A negro mammy had four boys who were so polite and well-behaved that they ex- cited the interest of the mammy’s mis- tress. Mandy,” said the mistress one day, “how did you manage to raise your boys so well?” tell you, missus,” replied Mandy. “Ah raise dem boys with a barrel stave, and Ah raised ’em frequent.” —Cincinnati Enquirer. Bitter Sweet ther—Bobbie, why are you so with your lessons? @—'Cos when I know ‘em she kisses dney Bulletin. New Use for a Quarantine Sign During an epidemic in a small Southern town every infected house was put under quarantine. After the disease had been checked, an old negress protested vigor- ously when the health officers started to take down the sign on her house “Why, Auntie,” exclaimed the officer, “why don’t you want me to take it down?” “Well, sah,” she answered, “dey ain’ be’n a bill-collectah neah dis house sence dat sign went up. You-all let it alone!” Harper's Magazine. Britain Fears Prohibition “Pussyfoot” on the Prowl—Morning Advertiser (London). | MINISTERS | L_ A Parting Shot—An English vicar and his curate had quarreled and the lat- ter was requested to find some other con gregation to minister to, The curate therefore preached his farewell sermon and the parishioners came in crowds to hear him, ‘My text,”’ he said, “is taken from the moving story of Abraham, “Tarry ye here with the ass, while I... go yonder,”’—Boston Transcript. Unprepared—There is no more pop- ular clergyman than Bishop Lawrence of Massachusetts. He is never at loss for a telling reply. A friend delights to teli of the occasion when the bishop, as guest at a country home. indulged in lobster and mince pic. Not wisely but too well. When he began to feel more himself again his hostess ventured to kid him a little, saying: “Why, bishop, you surely were not afraid to di “No, madam,” he answered solemn- ly, “but I would ve been ashamed to.”—Los Angeles Times. The Returns Will Show— Pastor— Don’t you think I touched them rather deeply this morning? Deacon—1 don't know, sir. I haven't counted up yet.— Houston Post. of the transgressor Pastor, who was visit- Tuff!—* The is hard,” said the ing the peniten That’s right,” agreed the Convict hey make you go to church every Sunday in this place.” —Cincinnati En- rer. On the Way to the Tropics—‘ Fa- * Taylor, the widely known pastor of the Seamen's Bethel in Boston, many years ago, at the zenith of his fame, ex- changed pulpits with Ralph Waldo son, pastor of the Second Unitarian Church. The exchange created a great sensation, especially among “Father” lor’s Methodist brethren, who went at him hammer and tongs. “‘ Why, what’s the matter with Emerson?” he asked them. “Why, he’s a Unitarian; he’s going to hell!” they exclaimed. “Well,” was “Father” Taylor's only reply, “if Emerson is going to hell, and if it gets to be publicly known, there will be large emigration in that direction.””— Boston Globe.