Judge — October 4, 1919 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

yy awakened by the after a certain lady as a partner, to haunt her, as it were, n perhaps she may not have the same desire to dance with you that you hace for her. When a lady has engaged to dance with you, you are not to afflict her with your so- ciety as a matter of course; indeed, to sit woith your partner for any length of time is a mark of ill-breeding.” And: “Tt is the thorough mingling of persons one with an- other that constitutes the charm of the ball-room, and cliques and conversations are to be avoided.” Break away and keep mum! “ Relatices and lovers should associate as little as pos- sible in the dance: and a man should but seldom, except in homey parties, dance with his wife.” Gosh! What a lot of bickering and—er—discussion would be avoided if this advice were respected nowa- days! “Greetings in the ball-room should be quietly per- formed, so as not to attract attention. In those times no lady The Traveling Trousers By Yost P. Morcas HAD just started to angle across the street, there.” indignantly — explained n- stable Slackputter, the com- bined lynx-eyed sleuth, dog pelter and traffic cop of Petunia, “when a dad-blamed Hootin’ Nanny carcame razooing around the corner and struck me on what you might call the larbeard quarter, and throwed me down, drug me half a block and tore my britches off. When my pants fetched loose from I was released, but the britches stayed with the car. The driver got the car stopped by that time, and looked back and seen the catastrophy I was in. “*Just stay right there,’ he yelled, ‘and I'll go and find a barrel for you.’ And, with that, he started up and went racket- ing around another corner and away, taking my britches with him. A motorist reported later in the day that he had passed the villain more than nine miles to the westward, and going like the wind, with my britches still flying behind him. And I reckon, confound him, he is four hundred miles away by this time and still going, fla’nting my britches in the face of society. I got home in the New York Grocery’s delivery car with an old Sunday newspeper wrapped around me. Of course, I’ve got another pair of pants, but, according to the remarks I hear on every side, my official dignity is gone forever.” Similar Symptoms “How did you feel,” inquired the spectacled tourist, “when the cyclone wrecked your home, ard you found yourself sail- ing through the air on the wings of the wild wynde, as it were, with the débris of your domicile whirling all about you?” “Like a fly in a glass of sody water, thank you!” replied the sas farmer. “I was present but didn’t scem to have enough influence to quiet the fuss.” could clap a gentleman on the back and say: “Well, Jerry, how are th’ ol’ body- squeak Shall we try this on “ Just see, popper,” says our daughter, “what danc- ing-parties were like in the ixties.”” were they? my dear, but Words That Upset the Canoe “Let's change seat “Look at the shar! “Throw me that pillow.” “T love you.” Botsnevik Furn.ture