Judge — September 6, 1919 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LITER DAK On such How hi There's Always a Reason We like to hear a “self-made man” tell us hat when he got his first job he was only mak- ng two dollars a week, but ¢ member that in those days they didn't have rash registers.—Cornell Widow. e must also re: Privacy They were spending their honeymoon he mountains of Switzerland and ev ey would climb to fresh heights. One day they had taken a particularly difficult trail and yame out on top of one of the mountains. The bride, panting with her exertions, laimed “Oh, Harry, darling, we have come all this distance to admire the view and we have for gotten the glasses.” Never mind, dearie.” Harry an swered, taking a flask out of his pocket “there 1s nobody about; we can drink right out of the bottle.”—Syrucuse 4Orange Peel. mong day Slow Co-ed—Oh, George, you tickle me! George—Aw, you tickle me first! Stanford Chaparral Disinherited “Was your uncle in his right mind when he died?” “He couldn't have be left everything to charity Froth. Why, he Penn State Joyous, Irresponsible All Broken Up Over It Johnny called on Mary, She greeted him with bliss But Papa stayed in the parlor, So they sat on the sofa like this: Mary Papa Johnny Then Papa had an important Appointment he could not miss And when he left the parlor They sat on the sofa like this MaryJohnny Papa came home at midnight Turned on the light with a hiss. And then looked into the parlor, The scene ended up like this Mary Papa Joh y Cutting Class. h Stanford Chaparrat Michigan Gargoyle. They Should Have Docked Her Certainly There was quite a sporty young Dr. She—Am { the only—" Went in bis canoe and he rr He—Help He lit in the sea, She— —girl you ever told she was the only He's so sore, Oh ( girl you ever told she was the only girl you ever He's gone to his uncle’s and hr. loved?—Princeton Tiger anford Chaparral. Too Early to Say Thoughts She (after fox-trotting around the gym a Blessed is the Prof who cuts his classes to go couple of times)—Do you like the way I fishing. for his cut shall be returned twofold. dance? Klessed is the Chapel Monitor who marks the He (taking another hold)—Er—I don’t know, absent present, for of such there are very few. yet Dartmouth Jack 0° Lantern Blessed is the Co-ed who does not break a date, for she will ever be popular Blessed is the Chaperone who dances. for who likes to sit out a dance? Blessed is the waiter who spills the coffee down the other fellow’s neck, for he is the cause of much merriment Blessed is the woman who talks per- sonalities in the movies, for those around learn much they never knew before —Penn State Froth, Excited? Excited Student—Your son was reading a book when he dropped dead. Absent-minded Professorp—What was the name of the book?—Cornell Widow. comichooks.