Judge — September 6, 1919 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- Bolsheviki Freedom In Russia hanno fatto P al grido di: la pace! In Rusela they stopped cry of “Hurrah for Il 420 (Florence) Father Scores a Point—“ My son,” said Mr. Grabcoin, “I dare say you flatter yourself that you are well known to head waiters and ladies of the chorus.” Well, maybe I am, dad.” “Yet, when a spendthrift dies have you ever heard of a section being reserved in the church or in the funeral procession for mourning head waiters and ladies of the chorus?”—Birmingham A ge-Herald. A Thrifty Soul—In the old days when every saloon set a free lunch there was a man who worked in a railroad yard in Cincinnati and saved money. A saloon near the yard served a plate lunch free if you bought two beers or spent ten cents over the bar. The man did not drink. So he would go to the saloon y day at noon and spend his ten cents on two packs of tobacco, Then they would serve him a lunch. The man did not chew, so when he got back to the yard he would sell the two packs of to- bacco for a dime. He used the dime next day tobuy two more packs and get lunch. Then he would sell the tobacco again, In this way he ate lunch for 300 days for nothing and still had his original dime. Thisisatrue story.—Cincinnati Enquirer. eve “Haw! Haw! Hai you laughing Too Late— “What are Hiram?” about, ting the Germans in order to be free to kill each other, to the “One of them confidence fellers wuz in here jes’ now an’ wanted to sell me a gold brick, the fust one I’ve seen since Hector wuz a pup.” “You got rid of him in a hurry, eh? “Yep. I told him I'd jes’ mortgaged th’ old home place an’ put th’ money in oil stock. He groaned, ‘I’m 20 years behind th’ times,’ an’ drug himself out.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Heavy “That must be an awfully difficult piece.” “Why?” WAY- _ FARERS #7 And Didn't Know It—Two weary tramps met after a lengthy separation, and sat down to compare experiences. Have yer been to the Front?” asked one; “ain’t seen yer about lately. I've been laid up with the influenzy “Influenzy? What's that?’ “Well, L don’t know how I can exactly explain it, but it takes all the fight out of yer. Yer feels sort of tired like. Don’t seem to want to do anything only lie down and sleep.” “Why, I’ve had that disease for the last twenty years!" exclaimed the first speaker; “but this is the first time I've ever heard its name.”—London Tit-Bits March of Progress—* You seem ut- terly worthless. You must be a tramp.” “They uster call amps, mum. Now they'd call us ine ncy experts.”” —Kansas City Journal. An Admirer of Idleness—* Dat League of Nations idea sort 0’ gets tomy sympathy in one way,” remarked Plod- ding Pete. “What d’ye mean?” inquired Mean- dering Mike. “A lot of people is sayin’ it can’t be made to work.”—Washington Star Work “Two people are hard at work on it, and yet they don’t scera-to get there any sooner.”— Jugend (Munich). 22