Judge — September 6, 1919 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Twin Sixes and Sevens— to drive much faster than thi rich man to the taxi driver, were employed as my chauffeur.” “Yes, sir, I know I did,” replied the chauffeur, “but you owned the car then. This is my own car I'm driving now.” —Detroit Free Press. ” said the when you Proficiency—“ What's Dubwaite do- ing out there in the street?” “He's addressing a few remarks to his motor car.” “Is he getting any results?” “T presume so. Half a dozen windows in the neighborhood have been pulled down with a bang.”—Birmingham Age Herald. Informalities — “People are not nearly so formal as they used to be.” said Mr. Chuggins. every time I go out flivvering policemen to whom I have never been introduced don’t hesitate to speak to me.”’—IWash- ington Star, Probably Both—‘That woman on the corner, waiting for a trolley car, re- fused your offer of a lift rather supercil- jously.” “So she did,” replied the obliging man. “And now I'll never know if she turned up her nose at my company or my fliv- ver.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. And a Casserole Figure "—Le Rire (Paris). What She Thought—He (somewhat embarrassed, after the car had stopped on a lonely road)—I can’t start my en- gine; the thing won't spark. She—Must be like some people I know. —The Olive Branch. Hard to Believe—You can’t get the fellow in the road with a punctured tire to believe they change ’em in twenty- seven scconds in the speedway races.— Indianapolis News. He—I's tragic to have a wife who looks like a cook, and yct can’t cook.—Campana de Gracia (Barcelona). 2 Even the Bombs Were Free REIMS Joijjons EN Auyo-CaR 1000 FRANCS fe dire qu’on a cu de la veine de coir ¢a pendant que ¢a ne ¢ non they will be saying we were lucky to see airplane stun DOCTORS § Change Did Him Good—Doctor— What you need most is a change of diet. Dyspeptic—Come again, Doc! Wh that’s what made me what I am today Doctor—What do you mean? Dyspeptic—Five different cooks in as many months.—Buffalo Express. A Cheaper Way—“My dear sir, nothing but an operation will save your life.”” “What will it cost?” “About $500.” “But I have only $15 “In that case Igt’s try what these pills will do.”"—Detroit Free Press. Medical Morality—Not so vet ago a certain attorney was qui doctor was summoned, but arrived and got one look at his pat he said, “Sorry, but you'll have to call another doctor.” as sick as all that?” gasped amined me when I w alled to give expert testimony in a certain case. Now my conscience won't permit me to kill you, but I’m darned if I care to cure you, Good day.” —Argonaut.