Judge — September 6, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Marital Neglect Er du gal Mand—gaa med Pels midt i Maaned! Dod og Pine, saa har min Kone glemt at if Kalenderen! man, to go about in a fur “Are you ma coat in Augus “It's my wife's fault to tear off the calendar.” She has forgotten Exlex (Christiania). Disorder Demanded—“ What made them fire that chairman out of the win- dow?” asked the bolshevist. “He insulted one of our most rever- enced principles,” replied the anarchist. “The first thing he said was, ‘The meet- ing will come to order.’”—Washington Star. Caustic—“ Well, my dear,” said Mr. Dubwaite, as he sat down at the table and squared himself for the evening meal, “what © the neighbors been up to I thought you were not interested in the neighbors?” “Tm not. I merely wished to get the usual recital over with so the conversa- tion for the rest of the evening might relate to topics of general information, calculated to instruct the mind or banish ennui.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. Willing To Help—‘‘A \ shilling’s worth of carbolic acid, please,” said the depressed-looking man. “This is a hardware shop,” said the assistant, regretfully, ‘so we don’t stock it. But isn’t there anything I can do for you in our special line of ropes, razors, and revolvers?"—London Tit-Bits. The Usual Courtesy—" Brokesley,” said the grocery keeper to the dead beat who was planning to move out of the community, “I don’t believe you will ever pay me what you owe me. It isn’t worth while to sue you for it, and you have nothing I care to attach, I will simply give you a receipt and call it paid.” “Fine of you,” said Brokesley. A few moments after, seeing that Brokesley still lingered about, the mer- chant said: “Was there something you wished to speak to me about?” “Not specially, but ain’t it customary to give a feller a cigar when his account's settled?” —Philadel phia Ledger. here are two sides to remarked the ready- Two Sides— every question, made philosopher. “There's two sides to a hickory nut,” rejoined Farmer Corntossel; “an out- ide and an inside, but only one of ‘em is worth payin’ any attention to.”— Washington Star. ON THE FARM ie Perverse Critters—“I can’t help thinking sometimes,” said the discour- aged farmer, “that the worse you treat your hens the more eggs you will get from them, I remember an old joke where one man asked another, ‘ How do you get so many eggs?? “‘Why,”” said the other, ‘I treat my hens so unscientifically they’re all laying for me.’ ”—Boston Transcript. Congenial Employment—“I under- stand you have hired a discharged soldier farmhand?” “Yes,” replied Mr. Cobbles. “He was in the tank corps.” “What sort of service is he giving?” “The best I told him just to consider my little old tractor a tank, and the way he gets over a field is a caution.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. The Defect and the Remedy Curious Passer-By—What did you blow up your hi <1. W. W.-Revolutionist—Ah-ha! There were a couple of leaks in the Whotchog- Bolshe: roof.—Sydney (Australia) Bulletin. 19 icomicbooksseom