Judge — September 6, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Idler “What can 1 de “Anything—so long as yo The Trouble—* What is the trouble, sir?” asked the solicitous waiter. “What is the trouble?” repeated the sniffing guest. “Why, I asked you for a three-minute egg, and you've given me a three-year one!" —Te Topics. His Advice—“I want a piece without any bone, fat or grizzle. pu’d better buy an egg, mum.”” Philadelphia ning Bulletin, Putting On Side—Diner—How is it that the terrapin on your bill of fare is always struck out? Candid Waiter—That’s just a fancy touch, sir. We never had a terrapin in the joint.—Boston Transcript. Double Duty of Steak—“ Waite: “Yes, sir.” “This steak is all bone and fat.” “Yes, sir. There was a gentleman in here just ahead of you who got the meat, sir.”—Yonkers & ng fatter, doctor? "—Fliegende Blaetter (Munich). What She pmplained Mrs. ordered a dozen fresh eggs.” “Yes?” inquired the grocer. they been sent to you?” “You sent me nine eggs,” declared the irate customer, “and three poison-gas bombs!""—Stray Stories. Ordered— Not , Terrell, “1 Banks, “Haven't JOURNAL | 45 eM: ‘latbush—The editor of this country paper says‘‘the sound of the hammer is again heard in the land.” Bensonhurst—Sounds as if his wife had returned home.—Yonkers Statesman. Suspicious Small Town Stuff —Polly Banks, the parrot of Mr. and Mrs. Peter Banks, corner of Marsh and Broad streets, is twenty-five years of age this month, The bird, which has been heard by hun dreds of people in this city, is still able to talk fluently and is still learning many new things. It is especially fond school children.—San Luis € gram, Improving Some—J. G. Cooper is improving some from the kick he got in the eye in trying to cut his wife some stove-wood.— Little River (Ga.) News. Modesty—The Candle editor docs not believe in’ bragging—when he’s sober. However, the arrival of an eight and one- half pound baby boy at his home last Sun- day is an awful temptation. We are per- fectly willing to give the Mrs. full credit for her share in the epoch-making event, and we congratulate the doctor and nurse for their good luck in officiating upon such a momentous occasion. Some people give considerable credit in such cases to a wise old bird called a stork, but by Gosh, we don't. We're some bird ourself, we'll say we are.—Crede (Colo.) Candle. The Apartment House Shortage in Paris “Vaut encore micux louer une boutique que de se trouser dans la rue!” “Just the same, it is better to have a shop to live in than no place at all!""—Le Rire (Paris).