Judge — August 23, 1919 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Communism A—Your communism is stupid your portion would be gone. What then?” B.—Divide agai } Dim Past—Valerie—1 dear old-fashioned story today Ethel—Do tell me! I love old-fash- ioned stories Valerie—It was all about a woman who had an efficient maid and respectful servants.—Town Topics. read such a Trained—*Why do you keep this man? He doesn't seem to know anything about the business.”” “He's our expert Blade. witness.” —Toledo Easy Ethics—Clerk—Why is it that I am so exhausted when night comes, do you suppose? The Boss—Well, if you would spend just half the energy in correcting your own faults that you spend in trying to invent ways to make others appear responsible for them, you would be much less weary when night came, and so would everybody else.—Philadel phia Ledger. Breaking It discharged?” “No, indeed!" “But you lost your job.” “Tt happened this way. The boss in- formed me in the kindest possible man- ner that there would be no limit set for my vacation this year.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. Gently—“You were If every thing were civiaed tou na very short time Did you use diplomacy when you discharged your cook?” “I presume you might call it that,” answered Mr. Glipping. “I fired her over the telephone and hung up the receiver before the wire got hot.”— Birmingham Age-Heratd. Prudence— Engaged—Gaiboy—Why did you leave your last place? Comely Applicant—I was caught kiss- ing my employer, sir. Gaiboy—Er—um morrow morning.—E. bu can start to- inburgh Scotsman Should Have Known Better—* Many divorces,” id Mayor Broening, of Baltimore, “are caused by a lack of tact. For instance, I met a Baltimorean the other day who looked horribly blue. “*What’s the matter?’ I asked him. “Matter enough,’ said he. ‘I've just had a terrible quarrel with my wife.’ “*Too bad,’ said I, ‘What was the quarrel about?’ “*She said,’ the man answered with a groan, ‘that a movie actress we saw last night was beautiful, and I agreed with her.’ —Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele- graph. Why They Crow — Mr. Balfour e, K.C., of the Parliamentary Bar, is one in his “Forty Years at the There was a legend in existence at one time that whenever a lie was told a cock crew. The derivation of the tra dition is obvious. Upon one occasion this legend was being mentioned, and some one said, ‘If that is so, how do you account for the fact that cocks mostly crow about three or four o'clock 1 the morning?’ ‘That’—and the answer is escribed to Mr. Chamberlain—‘is owing to the fact that at that hour the morning papers are being published.’ "Scottish American. The Bargain Hunter The Heiress—Oh, papa! of Plankbunk and the Earl of Wackleboots! The Millionair-—H'mph! because they’re cheap!—T: 2 I'm in such an awful mess! Just like your mother! ssing Showo (London). I've got engaged to both the Duke Buying things you don’t want just comicbooks.com