Judge — August 23, 1919 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by W. K. Stanmeer “Twas surprised at your agreeing with Binks’ remarks about the League of Nations.” “My dear fellow, you don’t suppose I was going to let him explain it to me, do you?” Slip it in the soup, polarize the pepper and let go. It will immediately snap back into your pocket. Butter Ner (Freicer’s). Darn those people who serve butter-balls which are so cold they are lke shrapnel! They slip all over the plate and it is almost impossible to pin them down to one place so you can cut off a chunk. The Butter Net, in a variety of non-cuttable materials, captures the Drawn by Noauax AxTHoNT “Dear, that’s hideous enough to drive anybody away!” “Why not put it in the guest room?” 13 butter-ball and holds it while you amputate as much as you want. Hor Eyesatt (Chermos Co.). Our overseas boys have not tasted ice cream for many moons. When you serve it tg them they are liable to take huge spoonfuls which will produge that peculiar dull pain in the eyeballs which we all experienced years ago. The hot eyeball, which keeps hot for twenty-four hours, can be clapped on in a second and remedies the troubl.- at onc Caparet 'Puones (Adison Company). This is a combina- tion of telephone and ear muff allowing you to continue with your anecdotes of the war despite the ever present cabaret. With this device no solo can touch you and no one can over- hear you and your buddy discussing little Susanne, whom you and the rest of the 26th Division left behind at La Mans. Hero Pieaser (Morham’s). This is simply a complete solid gold mess kit with which you can bring the war home to your officer guests who fought for Democracy in the Ordnance and Quartermaster Departments and consequently never saw a mess kit. It will give them that delicious sense of “roughing it” which they missed while the war was on. As favors, you might give each one a hand embroidered campaign badge. Syxtuetic Wetsn Raresrr (Codgman Rubber Co.). duiance, econom: almost self-laundering. Just as impossible to eat as the ordinary amateur effort. Better than Post-Prohibiti ‘ebits because they were made before the country went insane and “The beer is cooked into them.” Easily vulcanized when bitten in half. She Softened the Blow It was a serious and studious party of Englishmen touring China. They were all much interested in the mission school presided over by an efficient woman missionary. Their treat- ment was cordial and every effort made to make them com- fortable. In taking leave the leader, mn individual, lly commended the lady upon the services extended them by her Chinese boy. “That is my husband,” said the lady quietly. “Isn’t it very unusual for a woman of your education and good looks to marry a Chinaman?” inquired the leader. She was a good woman and hated to hurt any one’s feelings, so she replied, “Oh, I don’t know. I have a sister who is twice as good looking as I am and she married an English- man.” Overheard on the Lot Flora—What are all the: press-agents congratulating that fellow for? Fauna—Why, he wrote a magazine article on the movies without making a pun on reel and real. Seeing Red “T thought you were going to quit smoking.” “I intended to—until I heard that the reformers were going to crusade against to- bacco.”” comicbooks.com