Judge — August 9, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Curious! jours’ work they loudly call. I live happy and don't work at all! Nebelspalter (Zurich 4 One More Bid—A Senator was con demning a novel on the ground that it was morbid. “Morbidness never pays,” he “It's always a mistake. Take morbid curiosity, for example. They who in dulge in morbid curiosity are apt to find their worst fears realized. “A Portland broker who had married 1 wife a good deal younger than him self said to her morbidly one night “*Darling, what would you do if 1 should die and leave you?" The young wife squeezed the old fel low’s hand. ‘Leave me—er—how much?'” she murmured.""—St. Louis Globe-Democrat For eight Strange! The Soleful Countenance—" Why. you seem to remember me,” gurgled the friendly matron to the cordial clerk “Sure Ldo! Why, I never forget any body's face that I ever fitted a pair of Philadelphia Ledger SALESMAN- SHIP shoes on!” In Self-Defence said Source of Fancy—Read any new fiction lately?” asked the lady with the pink hat at the health resort “No; [ must confess I replied the lady with the ation “What's wrong? Isn't your husband writing to you while you are away?” Yonkers Statesman have not blue cre Sarcastic—“ Tomorrow,” howled the rated manager, after he had seen inth packageless patron leave his I'm going to put a showcase of gold dollars out front, marked down to ninety cents, and see if you get rid of a few ot *—Public Ledger ‘em! From Now On \ stream of visitors we see, Ain't he the lucky feller! Oh, no, he’s not. They've heard that he Has some booze in his cell Cincinnati Enquirer, Pleasures of Golfing His ball lay smothered in the pit, The sweat was on his beak; In five hard swipes he gained two yards And swore a dark blue streak The ball lay two feet from the cup, The putter on it fell; The ball went in, then wriggled out— The golfer murmured ‘“——.” ‘Thus, having made a wretched score, He sought the flowing bowl; Alas! July the first had come There was no ninetcenth hole. —Journal of the American Medical Asso- ciation. Why? “Explain this if you can, my men,’ \ puzzled fellow said; “Why is a girl’s hair auburn, when Her brother's hair is red?” Cincinnati E Maud Muller Motoring Maud Muller on a summer’s day Was driving rather fast, they say. The constable, who had a grudge, Took her before a country judge The country judge, in surly tones, Fined pretty Maud eleven bones. She paid it with a haughty stare, There wasn’t any romance there —Kansas City Journal The Style-maker Said Alla Magoozlum to Alla Gazzam “Few critters in nature I set out to slam, But the old caterpillar has sure got_ my goat For wearing in summer a coat.” Said Alla Gazzam, That the beastic mer furs. When sensib| swimmin’ The old caterpillar sets styles for the wimmin.”—Voungstown Telegram. stufly old to me just occurs is Wearing its new sum. folks are dressed up to go comicbooks.com