Judge — August 9, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHEEZES 66 _I Full Up—Winkleborough is a flour ishing little sea und during the season almost every available room le resort, is “let” at good prices \ visitor at that delightful spot ob served a policeman soundly cuff a youth for some misdemeanor, and being anxious to know the reason of the chastisement he went over to the brass-buttoned rep: resentative of the law “What's he done inquired “1 caught ‘im pickin’ pockets, sir. 11 I see ‘im at it again I'll give ‘im a good hidin’.” “But why don’t vou run him in?” “Run ‘im int” retorted the constable. “Why, bless yer, we ain’t runnin’ any body in this week. The police station’s let London Tit Bits constable?” he Ozark Foresight Judge Pete Bentz, who lives up on Bear Track Fork, is having an extra roof put on his house He says there's no telling when some careless airplane man will be dropping a monkey wrench just as he goes over his premises a mile or two up in the sky Irkansaw Thomas Cat. The Victim of Society t pour me repasser des *Nap ronnés et des *Suisse” assises! “What! you aren't blind any more?” “No, found it didn’t people toc giving me counterfeit coins.”"—Lr Pél (Paris) The International Bouncer “Come on, they won't let w the ‘Small Nation q vase.” —De Am Morning Exercises for the T. B. M.--Rise 7 A.M Stand in middle of room. Raise arms slowly overhead, take deep breath and say, “Damn the Government,” lower- ing ms in attitude of despair. Ten times. Extend body face downward on floor. Cover eyes with hands. Kick heels, think of the railroads and weep. Till dry Kneel. Wring hands: the labor unions and groan New York Post. Meditate upon 150 times. Nervy—“‘Do you believe in luck?” “How else could I account for the suc- cess of my business rivals?” —Toun An Historic Animal—The following, is a bill of sale for a burro sold by one old prospector to another at a decadent mining camp “back in the hills’: “Sold to R. H. Jones one lineal descendant of Christ's conveyance into Jerusalem for the sum of seventeen ($17.00) cash in hand. His age is unknown to the present generation, color twilight, guaranteed to be perfectly tame and docile, and easy to catch if hand-cuffed and chained to a mountain; otherwise it is easier to catch four aces. It is also guaranteed that he is the identical jackass selected by the Democratic party for its political em- blem so that the country might have a true and correct index of its great vocal and oratorical powers and the high intel- ligence of its voters.”—Engincering & to the ‘Great Nations” hotel. sterdammer (Amsterdam) . the entire stock of violins. tocgelaten—laten wij het aan den overkant eens let's have a try to get into ro EDUCATION | al Welcome Relief—‘Well, girlie, you have graduated.” “Ye “Chock full of wisdom What shall you do first “Plunge right into the silly season.” — Kansas City Journal. and erudition? Sheer Foresight—A __ hard-working farmer in Ohio had sent his son to a good school of music so that he might receive the best instruction from the beginning. It was necessary to buy a violin for him, but he was such a little chap that his teacher thought that a so-called “half- violin” would do. The father, whose resources had been badly taxed, was loath to part with the money for the in- strurrent, but finally did so. The lad made 1apid progress, becarre so proficient that a half-violin was no longer good enough for him. Again he went to the music-store with his father, to whom the salesman showed The parent was apparently dissatisfied with all of them, and his gaze wandered round the shop secking for something better. Finally he saw a violoncello. “We'll take that big violin there,” said he, as a smile of satisfaction spread over his countenance The boy won't out- grow that right away!""—Harper's Mage- sine. and comicbooks.com