Judge — August 2, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

La Bai Digest ofthe W orld’s Humor BAD | BREAKS For the S. P. C. A.—*General Mon ash making an imposing figure on his gray horse, which he rode with General Hobbs and three Brigadiers.”—London Times Who Wouldn't Be a Janitor? “Janitor—wanted to take charge of 3 cold water apartments, 10 families in each; 6-ROOM APARTMENT and bath for janitor. C.°D., 330 World.” —New York Sunday World. An Unintentional Judas—“I beg to thank you for electing me on Monday last. Nothing shall be wanting on my part to BeTRAY the confidence thus re- James W.G. French in ng.) Post. posed in me." the Teignmouth ( A Hospital Cleanser—* Wanted— A Young Person to help children and CLEAN NURSES.” — Sydenham (Eng.) celle Hardy Mammals—“Where dah- lias, sweet-peas, and other ANOALS are to be planted, the ground should be = manured. rth =Wilts (Eng.) Herald. Uplift—* Mrs. — —. as local Secretary for the National Society for the promo- TION of Cruelty to Children, has for- warded to the Parent Society £47." Folkestone Herald. Harry's Fiendish Hopes—‘ Harry Ashworth, who rode Royal Signet, only returned a few ¢ ago from France. He hopes to be peMORALISED shortly.””— London Evening Standard. Well Done on the Coast—"Washing- ton, June 15.—Epaulets, COOKED HATS, gold covered belts and highly ornamented special full dress Coast heretofore worn by naval officers on special occasions, arc abolished under an order iSued today by Secretary Daniels.”—San Jose Mercury- Herald. Polite Murder—‘QOutrages of the most CIVIL character continued to darken Trish life.’—A herdeen Free Press. Neck and Neck MM. Disrete-Tiradl fella torr sack me faux-coll! Mais ow diable ai-je bien pu le mettre? Mr. Abrentmind—Dear me! Going out with- out my collar! But where on earth could I have put it?—Le Péle-Méle (Paris) Super-Ambidextrous—“ The volume is called ‘Anti los Barbaros. El Yanki— He Ahi el Ei igo’ (‘Against the Bar- barians. The Yankee—Behold the En- emy’). Its cover-design shows a caric: ture of Uncle Sam WITH A RIFLE ON HIS SHOULDER, CLUTCHING DOLLARS WITH HANDS transformed into claws."’—Liter ary Digest. Didn't Ask Father For It—‘She held out her hand, and the young man took it and departed.”—Windsor Maga- azine. Ww Versatile—Nip Harper says that when he takes his double-barrel shotgun to go hunting, Towser refuses to be stam- peded by trees hanging full of squirrels and would hunt nothing but quail. When he takes up his rifle, then the cious animal will not cast even a sidelong glance at a quail, but gives his whole attention to squirrels. When Nip takes up his club, neither squirrels nor quail can secure any attention from Towser. He has eyes for rabbits only. And the other day, when Nip took his pole and fishing tackle to go fishing awhile Tow- ser gave a demonstration heretofore unknown in his curriculum. He went to work industriously digging up the ground in search of fishing worms.—Farming- ton (Mo.) Times. Muzzle Puzzle—Styles—I have re- peatedly told my wife that I wanted her to muzzle her dog. Mvyles—Perfectly right. “But she has repeatedly told me she'd do nothing of the kind.” “Well, what was the result?” “We compromised.” “How so?” “She muzzled me.”—Yonkers States- man. No Wonder!—* How old is your baby brother?” asked little Tommy of a play mate. “One year old,” replied Johnny “A exclaimed Tommy. "ve got a dog a year old and he can walk twice as well as your brother.” Well, so he ought to,” replied Johnny; “he's got twice as many legs.” —Chris- tian Advocate comicbooks.com