Judge — July 19, 1919 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TENT AnD DECK| This Week's Best Service Joke The Saucy Ship ‘No Smoking Allowed” By ¢ Hevrow, U.S. 8.00. Spolato, Dalmatia RENCH Oil Tanker, Czar Nicholas U, st in to Spalato inner harbor «ith large '* de Fumer” signs spread ocer bulkhead from signal bridge of U. S. S. Olympia—"Quarter- ‘master! Report to the Officer of the Deck the French Oil Tanker * Decfence de Fumair® is standing in.” If Anyone Had Said to Me About Five Years Ago By Cartary Bian, Some I F anyone had said to me, here in Siberia about five years ago, That all the world would be at war and swapping blow for blow, T would have thought that he who spoke was. totally insane... . But now I think I'll never doubt again! a prophecy Four years ago if anyone had said to me: “ Young man, Four years from now you can’t cat wheat: must eat corn or bran!" My loud, derisive laughter would have carried fora mile... I'd like to sve the prophet now at whom I'd even smile! you Three years ago, if I'd been told my taxes would increase A thousand-fold by now, but that my mind would be at peace, I would have had the sheriff run the speaker out of town But prophets now can do their worst make me frown! and never Two years ago, if I'd been told without a laughing wink That [ would be in uniform and couldn’t get a drink In two more years, I would have hit the speaker on the jaw Today the wildest prophecies are viewed by me as law! If anyone had said to me a year ago, perchance: “A year from now you'll occupy a little house in France With seven other soldiers” him in fear... . ‘Today I've nought but deep respect for prophecies T hear! I'd have run from In view of what has happened in the score of months just past If anyone should say: “ Your lot in future will be cast Upon the planet Venus, and you'll live on soot I'd start to get in training for my future life today. There is Only One Way to ‘Make Peace with Constipatiot By C. HOUSTON GOUDISS Publisher, The FORECA. YOU CAN SIGN AN ARMI- | STICE with Constipation by using | purgatives, cathartics and powerful | laxatives—all of which subject the | stomach to more or less of a strain and are apt to impair c gestion and weaken the whole system—but even | under such circumstances, the most that you can gain is a temporary cessation of hostilities. And this arch-enemy of health will resume | hostilities more fiercely than ever. |; YOU CAN USE THE BIG GUNS of | physic against this universal foe and dislodge its outposts for a few days or weeks, but when it brings up reinforcements, you will be less able than ever to defend yourself against the re- newed attacks. | BUT THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE PEACE with Constipa- tion is to rout its forces with | NUJOL, and after having driven | out the long intrenched ‘‘sol- | diers’’ of this scourge, keep the “Regularas Osekwerts Food Director, Mother's Magazine; Founder, School of Modern Cookery, and Food Expert of national reputation. colon clear of them by moderate use 9 T the same incomparable defense against th» Hun of health which causes more discomfc— and disease than any other one thing NUJOL will do this every time, without t least risk of upsetting the stomach or weake ing the body. NUJOL is not a medicine, but an absolute pure lubricant which painlessly passes throu; the body without being absorbed. Every dri that goes into the body comes out of the bod and in its journey NUJOL softens and star the impacted mass that obstructs the chi highway of health—the colon. NUJOL is odorless, tasteless and drugless. never causes distress or griping. isabsolutely safe for little babies ar aged folk. It doesn’t interfere wi any body function and has no detr mental effect on any body orgai NUJOL is as pure as distille) water, and equally easy to tak It is the one absolutely dependab remedy for the national curse « Constipation. | Nujol Laboratories STANDARD OIL CO. (NEW JERSEY) 50 Broadway, New York | ‘WARNING: All druggists. Nujol Leboratorie: $0 Broadway, New York. Please send me at once the booklet marked— Nanie.....-- Address. “Standard Oil Co, (New Jersey), Room Nujol is sold only in sealed bottles bearing the Nujol Trade-Marl Insist on Nujol. You may suffer be from peubsuiute WIG 18 BENT” thfancy and childhood BEFORE” i THE SHADOWS LENGTHEN” tipation tn old “Impossible” Here 1s another one of those original and striking Judge coversby James Montgomery Flags. Its he 1s subtle and appealin ¢ Repro .uctions in full colors. and mounted on heavy doutle mats (11x14 m. hes), suitable for iraming, are now obtain: able. ‘Send twenty-five cents, cash . oO are. with your name and address an! get one of these iceal wall decorations for your home, clubroom, bungalow or any place. JUDGE ART PRINT DEPARTMENT 22S Fifth Avenue New York City FILE your copies of JUDGE in this serviceable binder, made of. silk-finished cloth, with JUDGE stamped in gold on the _cover. $1.50 Brings The Binder to You LESLIE-JUDGE CO. 225 FIFTH AVENUE NEW YORK, N. Y. nat a Wounded Soldier ad This Copy of a ige When You've nd. ished Reading It F un The Army aut‘or ties tell us they can't begin to supply the soldierdemand. espe: gially Jn the hosp tals for woot pen Simply place @ tc stamp on the cover and drop in the nearest. mail bex. Unrle Sam will do the rest. ‘There never are enough Judge's to go comicbooks -com